pain and suffering in various tempos

MSNBC's "The Body Odd" article: SAD in the summer? Sunshine depression rare, but real.

When I still lived in Southern Ontario, there were a lot more people who were cranky in the summer, but when it's pushing 40 degrees because it's already 30 and there's nearly 100% humidity... well.

I like seeing the sunshine, I do. But in smaller doses. I like wearing sunglasses. I like it when there's sunshine when I'm on my way to work (7am), and when I'm on my way home (4pm).

But damn you, Calgarians. I hate the heat. I hate all of you silly people running around declaring how wonderful it is when the temperature is pushing 30 celsius. I know Calgary winters can be brutal (and I don't care what my dad says; it was definitely colder in Southern Ontario with the fucking windchill), but I am sick to death of having people look at me like I'm insane because I hate the heat and I hate summer. I hate that this city is still practically in broad daylight at 11:00pm--I can't sleep, because the temperature hasn't dropped enough even by then to cool down my apartment. I don't sleep enough. I don't eat enough because it is too hot to even think about food, let alone cooking it. I hate that when I step outside from the air conditioned mall to head home by foot or by bus and I feel sweaty, pressed-on, smothered, dirty, cranky. Did I mention the part where I really hate how I instantly feel like I need to wash my hands? And yes I'm a grumpy old woman because it's just 1 July and already I'm sick to death of seeing everyone's ass-cheeks peeking out of their too-short shorts. That's not sexy.

I don't tan; I burn. I get eaten alive by mosquitoes. Fuck you; 21 celsius is perfectly acceptable and wonderful and is far more reasonable than 27. Yes, I absolutely hate summer. I get depressed in the summer. I don't sleep. I don't eat and I lose weight rapidly. I feel weak and tired and on edge and I could just set things on fire. I snap at my family, I snap at my co-workers, I want to murder half of our patients.

As soon as the temperature drops consistently back down to the high teens/low twenties? I'm back to normal.

And while I'm at it? Yeah, I don't enjoy Christmas, either.

( Text of the article copied here, mostly for my own reference and posterity. )

( Just my day in a nutshell; some whining and such. )

So in less whiny news:

1. That vid has been removed. Wow. fiercy and linden_jay are like great shining knights and they're my heroes, and they were patient and polite but stubborn and, wow.

2. I think I'm writing Beckett/Lorne. All I can say is, blame linden_jay. It makes no sense, except to us, but there you go.

3. The wee puppeh has no tail now. And a shaved bum. It's actually kind of funny. But sad. But funny.

4. I've re-watched Doctor Who 3x01 and 3x02, and, dammit, I like the episodes and I like Martha, and I won't apologise for it, and so there.

5. I want to be a dork and say "OMG THERE IS NO FIVE", but, I posted penguins for everybody, and the silly SGA fic that I'm still not sure about really, and Sean Bean is going to be here next week.

Or, well, his voice at least. *g* STAY TUNED. LotR radio production will follow that.

6. IS IT SPRING? Cuz it neither looks nor feels like spring. My hands are frozen like icicles.

7. I'm getting my allergies tested on Monday morning. Which means, after tonight? No antihistamines for the Ash, and I have to work tomorrow, and I suspect I shall be miserable. AND they want me to go in to work after the test and I'm just like "HA HA, well, I was only scheduled for 5 to close, but I'll just be there when I feel humanish again." It's been several years, but I remember feeling rather horrifically awful after I got my allergies tested the last time, and feeling rather horrifically awful for several hours, even after a shower and a massive dose of antihistamines.

8. I want Heroes back NOW, dammit. Oh, and the last several weeks' worth of online comics? I soooo called the identities of Austin and Dallas. What do I win??

Hello out there!

Let's see. I am now feeling mostly better; much of the allergic reaction has died down, to be replaced by the more familiar feel of my typical, springtime, please give me new sinuses, God feeling of... ick. *G* The Benadryl has cleared my system; yes, yes, I took far too much. Doctor has recommended Allegra for regular daytime and such use, if the Reactine (allergy+sinus) doesn't do me any good. Doctor is supposed to get things set up for me to have allergies tested; we'll see how that goes. Undoubtedly, the allergic reaction was, in fact, to the lip balm, considering the state my lips were in when I was applying it in such quantities. I have a prescription for an epi-pen now.

I sat in the doctor's office for nearly 2 hours before I got to see her. She saw me for 5 minutes and rushed me out. WHOOP DE YAY. People wonder why I dont' ever want to see my doctor.

Am still very tired. Arms feel very heavy. Bowling thing for work tomorrow night. I work all day, 8:45-6:30. I didn't want to go initially because, UGH, bowling, not my thing, but now? I want to go even less. I feel OOGIE and I don't expect that to go away tomorrow. :-/

I am already near to the end of the second season of Doctor Who, which I received for my birthday. Haven't been much in the mood for anything else. Of course, now that I'm about halfway through the second-last episode, and Knowing What Happens, I am less inclined to actually want to watch. Just because I don't want to See What Happens. Sometimes, it's good to know Things Like This well in advance. Otherwise? Oh, boo. :(

My lovely, 5GB Creative Zen Micro just sort of gave up the ghost this week. It only plays for 20 minutes when it's not plugged in; then it freezes, and you have to remove the battery and put it back several times before it MIGHT boot back up, and then tell you the battery's dead. Went back to Best Buy, warranty in hand, and got told they just couldn't fix it. The model's not made anymore. They can't get me a new battery. D: I was all prepared to have to fight tooth and nail like I did with my DVD player (which I still miss, by the by) from Future Shop. Nope! They just said "We'll give you the credit for what you paid for, and you can pick out a new one!" I said, OK! I now own a 30GB music/video/photo Creative ... Vision, I think. I'm feeling to blah and lazy to check.

My mummy's making a webpage for her dog club. Did I ever mention that? I am very proud of her.

TMI ahead, for owies.

Last night, sara_elf, deerdancer, a few of Sara's friends, and I, all went out to a restaurant in downtown Toronto, for a sort of last hurrah before Sara goes to Japan. We went to Spring Rolls for dinner. I ordered, surprise, a couple spring rolls for myself. And ( cut for the squeamish )

So, flist. How was YOUR Sunday?

except for the one glorious hour I spent watching Heroes (OMFGSQUEEHIROILOVEYOUUUU) with sara_elf, 30 October, 2006, was just rather ick. I am pissy. And eating All Dressed potato chips. At 12:15am.

I call for a do-over, pls.

Actually, for $1 million, and with the knowledge I have now, I think I'm going to start calling for a do-over of the past ten years. The past ten years sucked. A lot.

So did anybody do anything exciting today?

Just back in from walk with dog. Left at 8:30. Was 29°C. According to weathernetwork.ca, it felt like 41°C (which is 105°F for the Americans on my flist). I am too fat and out of shape for this. I already have a headache and feel dizzy. My shirt was drenched; my glasses wouldn't stay on my nose. Oh god, it's supposed to be like this all fucking week.

41°C by 8:30am.

No idea what I'm going to do come Friday. I have to work 5-9:30 on Thursday night, which means I'm not going to be home before 10pm, and I have to be at work by 7:45 again on Friday morning. Getting home at 10pm inevitably means I am not going to be in bed before 11:00, 11:30 if I'm very lucky... I'm not sure I'm going to be able to manage taking her out in the afternoon. *weeps*

Shoot me, pls.

Numbered and random. Here we go.

1. Bought new DVD player today. Can't stand the one I've got now anymore, this one was on clearance. It seems to be teh awesome. I have fourteen days to use and abuse before I settle.

2. Doggie puked all over the family room last night after I got home from work. She's been listless today, so I headed home first to see Raha who isn't around b/c of storms, and just to let her be and rest.

3. Have now watched all of Star Trek: TNG seasons 5-7. Whee! Maybe I started on 4. I don't remember.

4. Watched Slings and Arrows season 1 because it was at Future Shop (hiss! boo!) for $27.99. It is wonderful.

5. I am sore and tired and achy and I hate going for walks in the heat twice a day and sleeping in a too-soft bed.

6. deerdancer came over Tuesday night and stayed till yesterday afternoon. Was lovely. We went in the pool. I am mildly sunburned. I also have many many mosquito bites. I am very itchy. I have a wicked heat rash all over my arms. Itchy itchy itchy!

7. Holy hell people, I got to skip=360. I have 20 tabs open. I couldn't possibly respond to everything I read. I ♥ you all, I really do.

8. OK, I give. Anybody have a spare Vox invite?

9. I am listless and tired and achy and having self-doubts.

10. I miss my house and my parents and my bed and my 'puter and all that.

11. I am afraid of the back to school season at work. Seriously. I don't think I can handle it, not if they want me to be working at the customer service desk.

12. Attn: St@ples shoppers. You probably think it's crap, but staff aren't cross-trained, only managers. Computer department guys don't know much of anything about pens. The people wandering the pen-paper-office supplies aisles probably don't know anything much at all about overhead projectors. Cashiers don't know how the copy centre works. And y'know something, chances are that's how it works at any store of the same ilk. I understand that those working the sales floor and those manning the cash registers at Chapters are in the same sort of boat, too.

13. I am a lonely, lonely girl.

14. I feel behind on everything! Agh!

15. I think I'm done.

Stupid Mondays.

Stupid pain.

Stupid 12-9:30 shift.

Someone shoot me.

2006. 12 hours old and I already want a do-over.

Bugger.

*crawls under a rock*

I don't even have the energy to complain about what happened today. Suffice it to say, that Wednesday, 22 June, 2005, sucked mighty ass. I demand a refund, dammit.