pain and suffering in various tempos

OK. Who wants me to write something for them?

Give me a pairing, and a kink/a setting/an item/a first-whatever/a prompt of some sort. I'll give you at least three sentences. It'll be rated no LOWER than PG-13/14A. I'll do my damnedest to give you PORN, though.

The Ashinae Pairing-O-Matic For Easy Reference

Heroes: Nathan/Peter, Mohinder/Sylar, Mohinder/Peter, Nathan/Mohinder, Niki/DL
House: House/Wilson/Cuddy, House/Wilson, House/Cuddy, Wilson/Cuddy
Firefly: Oh. This is difficult. Zoe/Wash = OTP and I won't write them with anybody else. I won't write Jayne/River or Book/anybody (poor Book). Otherwise? Let your imagination run wild.
Farscape: John/Aeryn
SGA: Sheppard/McKay/Teyla/Ronon and various combinations (I seem to be inclined towards Rodney!pairings, though), Lorne/Beckett, Weir/Caldwell
Xena: Xena/Gabrielle
LotR: Legolas/Gimli (bookverse), Aragorn/Boromir (LotR movieverse), Aragorn/Faramir, Faramir/Eowyn (LotR everyverse)
SG1: Daniel/Vala, Cameron/Sam, Teal'c/Jack, Sam/Daniel
Babylon 5: Sheridan/Delenn, Garibaldi/Sinclair, Ivanova/Talia
Due South: Fraser/Vecchio, Fraser/Kowalski
HP: Black/Lupin, Lupin/Snape, Snape/Lucius

And those are the pairings my brain can come up with today.

1) TWO MORE SLEEPS TILL HEROES IS BACK. YAY!!!!

2) I have three, count 'em, THREE plot bunnies for SGA fic (one of them being AU). Help??? If, in said AU, these people are actors, and there's a performance of Othello because, hello, Rodney-as-Iago? WIN. But, anyway, if in this AU Ronon's playing Othello, is this fandom going to rip off my head and use it as a chamberpot?

2a) In rewatching "Rising", I can so see how they wanted Ben Browder for the role of Sheppard. I wonder what kind of chemistry he'd have had with everybody. Of course, I think Browder could have chemistry with plants...

3) I dun wanna work today. But on the other hand, oh Lord, I need to escape this house. Mum and Dad made the sudden decision to rip up the carpets upstairs and lay down all new flooring (hardwood laminate tile... things...) and boy is my dad ever a grumpy gus. But I don't want to go to work.

Ten ways to tell Ashinae wrote or co-wrote something

Disclaimer: This is not a reflection on current and/or past co-writers. My feelings about my writing are my own and do not reflect at all on the talents of, or my opinion of the talents of, anyone I have written with, current or past. Experience tells me I need to say this. My apologies.

1. Em-dashes -- liek woah
2. Way too much dialogue
3. Contrived attempts at humour
4. One-word titles, or titles derived from songs
5. Telling, not showing. Woe.
6. Sentence fragments -- especially when they happen to be the sole contents of a paragraph
7. Lots of references to food and/or eating
8. It's kinky in some way
9. A lot of murmuring, whispering, repetition, shamelessness, repetition, describing someone's tone of voice, and repetition.
10. Mournful attempts at poetical prose.

I feel so far behind in everything. *flails*

( August, 2005 )
*
( September, 2005 )

I'll write a drabble for anyone who comments. Put up a pairing and an image to act as a prompt, but please link to the image (<a href="">). The image can be anything, except it cannot have an obvious relationship to the source text (in other words, no stills or pictures of the characters or actors). Feel free to include a prompt word, if you want to have a say in the drabble title.

I reserve the right to write and post them anytime between now and August 14th, but I will do my absolute damnedest to have them posted by then. Or rather, before then. Or something. I reserve the right to make these as silly or as serious as I want.

Uncertain of some of the fandoms/pairings I'd do beyond the obvious of Aragorn/Boromir or Russell/Paul? Have a cheat guide that you can pick from. Of course, if you recall me also mentioning that I could get behind a pairing not listed below, give 'er a try and I'll see what I can do.
( Ashinae's a fannish slut! )

ETA, a few hours later: Updated list above there...

Wow. I am out of my mind-bored. To the point of -- there's a ton of stuff I could (or perhaps should) be doing, and I don't want to get my arse in gear and actually do any of 'em.

Did, however, attempt to write porn last night (long hand, even!) while waiting for House to download so I could watch the first 15 minutes that I missed. It was a miserable failure. Crumpled and ripped it all up and threw it in the garbage and now it's gone. *nodnod* So I have come to the conclusion that I will likely never be writing porn solo ever again. Just in case anybody out there was waiting for me to do so -- yeah, it's not going to happen. As soon as I find the beta notes I printed out (which were put away "somewhere safe" whilst my room was being renovated, which means I have no idea where the hell they went) and actually edit that Aragorn/Boromir piece I wrote last month, I'll get that posted, and that may in fact be the bright, shiny end of Ashinae-fanfic.

Went out with sara_elf and deerdancer yesterday and went a little spend-crazy. I bought my very first suit (black, pinstripes) for work. Also picked up Buffy, seasons 3 and 4, because HMV had them for 2-for-$90 -- $45/each rather than $62.99 each. Can't really go wrong there. Also picked up both Maybe Baby and Inventing the Abbotts, for $7.99 each, rather than $11.99 and $12.99 which is what they're advertised for everywhere else. Can't go wrong there, either. But that also means that until I get paid for training (and I have no idea when that could be -- at the end of each week? End of second week? God forbid, end of third week?), I only have enough money to pay for my driving test next Tuesday.

Ahh, driving test. Am absolutely terrified. I hate driving, I'm crap at driving. It's supposed to be the renewal for my G2, which means I'm taking the G1 exit test, and not the G2 exit test. The latter would give me my full "G" drivers license, however, it requires highway driving. I haven't done highway driving since I was taking lessons -- the car that I drive, being the only car I am allowed to drive, isn't safe to take out on a highway. So hopefully I really am taking the G1 exit test to renew my G2 or I'm royally fucking screwed, because the testing people are assholes and can, in fact, stop a test for whatever reason. OY. I fucking hate driving.

Finally -- I do not understand how I made all those bloody Boromir-centric vids when I first started vidding. I have several minutes more footage, thanks to the extended editions of The Two Towers and Return of the King, but re-editing "Dead Boy's Poem" is just fucking killing me. AGH. *stabinates* What's worse is that my computer really can't handle me having much on my hard drive at once -- having the scenes from FotR, TTT and RotK that I have already, means that my computer would more than likely freak out if I tried encoding anything else. So I have to stick with "Dead Boy's Poem" or at the very least, Boromir, instead of trying to vid something completely different to save my fandom.

WHY did I decide to be a good daughter and not say "yes" when my dad (very reluctantly, I might add) asked me if I wanted more hard drive space and more RAM when my computer was being built last year? *cries*

Something interesting I read --

Kids shouldn't be reading or writing slash. And they are probably only
writing it because they've read it from some adult site or zine. I doubt
that they would have come up with the idea on there [sic] own.

*raises hand* Ooh! Ooh! I was writing Legolas/Gimli when I was twelve. Xena/Gabrielle when I was thirteen or fourteen. Fraser/Vecchio when I was seventeen. Of these -- only the Fraser/Vecchio after my awareness of the existence of slash online. And I would have written it ANYWAY.

So c'mon, people on my flist. Anybody else out there writing slash when they were underage and/or unaware of the existence of it as an actual "thing"? Tell, tell.

For cinzia...
Because I think she deserves a little somethin'. 'Twas a long day at work today, so I haven't much more finished than I did before, but here is the next little section of the Lucifer/Boromir... thing... that I'm working on. The first chunk is here.

( you made me give )