ashinae | Entries tagged with equality

I was bullied. I was bullied for being overweight and for being smarter than the other kids. I wasn't bullied for being queer. It's not outwardly obvious that I'm queer. But I am. And every time a public figure speaks out about their own struggles, about their own sexuality, about being an ally--it feels better. It helps.

I'm a twenty-nine year old woman living in the closet in my meatspace life. I can see Narnia from here. I work in an office surrounded by women. I live in a city that I don't feel will be entirely welcoming of me or an entirely happy place to live as someone who is not straight and I don't believe most of my family--especially my parents and siblings--will be supportive of me were I to come out. Sure, I can fake it. I am physically attracted to men. I can fake it. I can pretend that I could be happy in a relationship with one and get married and be "normal". But that's not what I want. That is not what I believe my future should be. I have opportunities in this country for equal marriage and an equal life, but my current situation holds me back and that hurts.

Every time another public figure--athlete, politician, musician, actor--comes out and talks about their own struggles, it makes me feel like things can maybe, one day, be okay. I cry tears of joy and relief and maybe just a little bit of a self-pity.

Every time someone tries to derail discussion about LGTBQ issues, I get angry. I get frustrated. I get sad and scared and it hurts like a motherfucker. Sometimes a discussion is just about homosexuality. Sometimes it's just about misogyny. Sometimes it's just about racism. Not all discussions are or need to be all-inclusive. Sometimes they are. But other times, a public figure--no matter their sexuality or situation--wants to talk about this one issue and I wish people would let them.

Link taken shamelessly from

rusty76, re-posting because these really, really need to be shared around, because they are of awesomeness.

A very cute series of ads promoting equal marriage. You'll need QuickTime (and perhaps a bit of patience with the page) to view 'em.

Sometimes it's hard.

(re: claim that greater acceptance for gays will lead to greater acceptance for child-molesters)
a: That's like saying, "Now that being gay is OK, will poking people in the eye with sharp sticks be legalized as well?"
b: That straw man ~~pony~~ won't run. Persons who who hold that view overestimate the connection, but statistically the connection is there.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Sure. But isn't the vast majority of child molestation still committed by heterosexual men against girls? Also, heterosexual women have molested kids.

So basically...

Statistically, there's a connection between grown-ups molesting children.

OH CRAP. THE OVER-EIGHTEENS AND THE UNDER-EIGHTEENS HAD BEST BE SEGREGATED FOREVER AND EVER.

*quietly seethes*

*walks away*

From Winnie-the-Pooh, Check your Store Cupboard:
It's sort of comforting to know if you have fourteen pots of honey left, or fifteen, as the case may be.

And, a book meme, nicked from

noelegy, because it's always fun, and because of the particular book ...
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

Liall's hands gripped his arms tightly, and Scarlet got the distinct impression the atya wanted to shake him for his carelessness.
-- Scarlet and the White Wolf, Book One: The Pedlar and the Bandit King by Kirby Crow

***

Dear ~~Asshat~~ ~~Bad, Bad Man~~ Prime Minister Harper,

Well. Congratulations on your exceptionally narrow win. Now that you ~~and your scary face~~ are running this country, I would like to take a moment to talk to you about some things. I think everything I would care to say falls under one, very simple, header:

This is Canada, not the United States of America.

Please remember those very, most vitally important nine words. Remember what Canada has prided itself for, for so very long.

We are a peacekeeping nation, and not a militaristic force.

Canada did not follow the U.S.'s silly campaign against Iraq. I think it's fairly safe to say that most of us are quite happy with this. It's kept the needless deaths of Canadians on Iraq at a very low level, wouldn't you say? Do not, please, do not start making efforts that might cost Canadian lives for silly things. Okay?

We believe in fundamental, civil rights for all.

While, as you said recently in The Toronto Star, the separation of church and state may not be mandated in any particular part of the Canadian Charter, it's worked very well for us. Freedom of religion is a very important thing, and I agree with you on that. I keep you free of my version of what can only be called Christianity, and you should continue to keep me free from yours. I'm not sure just which churches you say have been "forced" to perform same-sex marriages against their will (surely I would have heard of such things in the news, Mr Prime Minister?), and I agree with you that no church should be forced to do something it doesn't want to do. They should be free to practice ~~their wonky version of my~~ religion as they see fit. By the same token, anyone who feels that same-sex couples deserve the very basic protections under the laws that are afforded heterosexual couples should be able to extend those rights freely, without interference from your religion. Do you see how it needs to be a two-way street? All of this applies to abortion, by the by. If you start barging in and trying to throw civil rights all into chaos, I hope the other three parties ~~tell you to sit down and stfu~~ will veto it all.

Incidentally, I would love for you to explain, as concisely as possible, without using your version of Christianity, just how affording basic legal protections and rights to same-sex couples will lead to chaos, the apocalypse, a rainbow explosion, people marrying their pets, the general destruction of all that is good and decent and right, etc. Please. Just why should a gay person not be allowed to inherit their partner's properties, or be allowed at their dying partner's bedside, be allowed tax breaks, be allowed to share insurance policy, and all that very basic stuff that heterosexual couples are allowed to have? Just cuz they're queer don't cut it, sir, and neither does the fact that a passage in the Old Testament (which I thought Christians weren't actually supposed to be following?) "says so".

Basically what I'm trying to say, Mr Prime ~~Slimeball~~ Minister, is please remember that you're in Canada. While we certainly couldn't condone much of what had gone wrong with the Liberal party, we do not deserve to be turned into America's "MiniMe". Do not start kowtowing to American policy, George Bush, or any of that. Despite the overwhelmingness of American culture streaming over the border, I still live in hope that the vast majority of Canadians are happy being Canadians, and having a strong, healthy, happy Canada. Oh, mentioning healthy -- I think the free healthcare thing makes a lot of Canadians happy, too. ~~Touch that, and I'll bite.~~

It seems I can't say any of this in a concise manner. I won't apologise for that, though. ~~If you have to annoy me, I'm going to annoy you, so nyah.~~ Please, just don't start making grand, sweeping changes. Leave Canada the way it kind of is. Please?

~~No love,~~
Sincerely,

ashinae

***

Dear LJ:

You're confusing me and causing general distress. Quit it.

Le sigh,

ashinae

The fact that Joss Whedon acknowledged that Spike and Angel had done it at some point in the past 100 years; the fact that Joss Whedon gave Inara Serra a female client; the fact that Joss Whedon had a canon lesbian character who had two canon lesbian relationships -- it's a lot better than what Rob Tapert gave us for Xena. A whole fucking lot better. It's a lot better than the subtle ambiguous hints that werewolf=homosexual that we were given by Cuaron, Kloves, and possibly Rowling if she really does get some measure of approval on the Harry Potter movies.

We haven't come that far in the past ten years, since Xena: Warrior Princess came on the air. If I had a dollar for every time I've read someone saying that they stopped watching Xena when Xena and Gabrielle got "too gay", I could treat myself and a friend or two for dinner at the bloody Keg (for the uninitiated: a particularly expensive steakhouse restaurant). If I had a dollar for every time someone freaked out over the Willow/Tara subtext back in the fourth season of Buffy, I could buy myself the entire collection of Aubrey-Maturin books -- again.

There's a reason Queer as Folk and The L Word run on a cable network, people. It's because even while shows like Buffy, Angel, and Xena run on the far fringes of "mainstream" television, they'd still lose a huge chunk of their audience if their central figure(s) were queer. That's just. the. way. it. is. Does it piss me off? Of course! But in a day and age where the only "acceptable" queer show is bloody Will and Grace, I think we do sort of have to count our blessings. Oz and Six Feet Under are still just cable shows.

( Should there be more? Of course. )

Current Mood: pensive

Article from The Toronto Star, reposted in its entirety for those who don't want to register.

( Gay marriage bill starts bumpy ride )

And...
Remember folks: freedom of religion also extends to allowing people to take a religion like Christianity, throw out the parts about bigotry and hatred, and embrace all that love, tolerance, and compassion that crazy Jesus fella was talking about.

Current Mood: optimistic

To: Mr Stephen Harper
From: A proud, patriotic Canadian girl

Dear Mr Harper,

Please stop being a nutjob. You're making my country look bad. Gay marriage --> polygamy --> bestiality does not compute (I know you haven't mentioned the "OH NOES PEOPLE ARE GOING TO WANT TO MARRY THEIR PETS NEXT!!!11one" part, but I feel you'll be reaching there next with your astounding jumps of logic, so I'm beating you to the punch). You are a closed-minded, bigoted arse.

Whether or not you want to believe it, gay people are people too. Gay couples who decide they want to spend 'the rest of their lives' together deserve all the same legal rights as heterosexuals. It doesn't matter whether or not you and all the other closed-minded types believe it; they are human beings, and deserve the same basic human rights as heterosexuals. It has nothing to do with subverting your narrow view of morality. It has everything to do with wanting to be able to be there in the hospital if their partner is dying. It has everything to do with being allowed to will your property to them instead of having a family who disowned them decide what to do with their belongings, or having the state decide. It has everything to do with being allowed to give their partner coverage under any benefits they might receive through their employer. It's that sort of thing.

Why is it so hard for you to understand? Why is it so hard for you and your ilk to grasp the concept that it doesn't matter who you love? If marriage is sacred, and meant to last forever, and meant to bring about children, then anyone over, hmm, let's say fifty, should not be allowed to get married. Anybody who is infertile should not be allowed to get married. Divorce should be illegal. People who don't even want to have children should not be allowed to get married. Yet all of these people are allowed to get married, you jerk, so why not same-sex couples? And don't you dare bring your god into this. My God says that love and tolerance are valued above all other things. Tradition? That doesn't work either. Traditions change. Lots of traditions die away because they just don't apply anymore. Change is, sometimes, good. "Traditionally" women are supposed to be at home, barefoot and pregnant. And yet, women work. Women sometimes don't have kids. In some families, the woman is the primary source of income! I shall pause now, and allow you to gasp in shock.

Now that we've had our pause: I WANT A GOOD, REASONABLE ANSWER, YOU FUCKER.

Absolutely no love whatsoever,

ashinae

PS - You look creepy. Stop appearing on television.

PPS - You know what would be even better? Go live somewhere where they'll appreciate your narrow-minded bigoted views.

PPPS - You look so creepy, in fact, that I never. want. to. see. your. face. again.

PPPPS - Are abortion rights next, arsehole?

PPPPPS - FUCK YOU.

Current Mood: infuriated
Current Music: my teeth grinding

Posting this for any Canadians who aren't aware, don't get the Toronto Star, don't want to register at thestar.com.

PM `ready' for election
Martin willing to go to polls to support same-sex marriage

From the Toronto Star, Saturday, 22 January, 2005

( Lashes out at Harper for criticism of pending legislation )

I can't help but feel shocked and dismayed. There's nothing for it, really. There's the desire to grab Kerry and scream, "Johnny, NO!" But what can I do? I'm not even an American and I'm sure there are people who would read this and demand "How dare you?" How dare I care what happens in another country? How dare I care who controls the most powerful country in the world? How dare I care about what happens to the country just south of the largest undefended border in the world? How dare I?

I think, though, the thing that scares me the most is the fact that eleven states voted to say that a certain group of people have less rights than others, just because of who they love. In eleven states, gay people who commit their lives to each other do not have the same basic rights as heterosexual people who do the same. Forget the bloody tax breaks that come with marriage -- what about the basic right to be able to see your loved one in the hospital? What about having their belongings taken away by a family who may have disowned them, or, worse, having that property auctioned off by the state?

Five months ago I was terrified. What if Harper won here, and Bush won down there? What would that mean for North America and for the world? I'm still scared. The Liberals here do not have a majority government. I don't know what all of this means. I don't understand what's going on in the world. Martin has a minority government. Bush there. Howard in Australia. Conservatives everywhere. I'm still terrified of the remnants of That Party that Stockwell Day created.

I know that some people I've read in the past few hours feel hopeless and helpless and scared. Your voices still matter. Every minority voice, every woman's voice, every not-straight-not-white-not-male-not-rich-not-fundie!Christian voice counts. We count. Every last one of us. We cannot sit still. We have to fight to make North America the kind of place we want it to be.

Don't look at me like that, and say I have no right to say anything just because I'm a Canadian. No matter how grim things looked here in June, no matter what my parents were saying and who they were voting for, I didn't give up hope. And there is still work to be done here. Just like there is work to be done across the border -- no matter how much you may want to give up now, you can't. Do not give in. Do not give in to them. Go check out the links that

elke_tanzer has been posting, and do something pro-active. Start now. You've been given something you don't want -- now make something of it. We can all shape the future.

Never, ever give up. Your voice matters -- they all matter. Don't let something like this discourage you. The voting process is very different in the two countries, but there is no way in hell that I am ever going to give up just because Stronach is "my" Member of Parliament for the next four years. Like hell.

And for everyone who's expressed their grief by feeling powerless, who thinks they don't matter -- repeat after me: "Like hell." You do matter. Don't ever, ever stop fighting for what you want.