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Oct. 28th, 2011 07:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ashinaeI was bullied. I was bullied for being overweight and for being smarter than the other kids. I wasn't bullied for being queer. It's not outwardly obvious that I'm queer. But I am. And every time a public figure speaks out about their own struggles, about their own sexuality, about being an ally--it feels better. It helps.
I'm a twenty-nine year old woman living in the closet in my meatspace life. I can see Narnia from here. I work in an office surrounded by women. I live in a city that I don't feel will be entirely welcoming of me or an entirely happy place to live as someone who is not straight and I don't believe most of my family--especially my parents and siblings--will be supportive of me were I to come out. Sure, I can fake it. I am physically attracted to men. I can fake it. I can pretend that I could be happy in a relationship with one and get married and be "normal". But that's not what I want. That is not what I believe my future should be. I have opportunities in this country for equal marriage and an equal life, but my current situation holds me back and that hurts.
Every time another public figure--athlete, politician, musician, actor--comes out and talks about their own struggles, it makes me feel like things can maybe, one day, be okay. I cry tears of joy and relief and maybe just a little bit of a self-pity.
Every time someone tries to derail discussion about LGTBQ issues, I get angry. I get frustrated. I get sad and scared and it hurts like a motherfucker. Sometimes a discussion is just about homosexuality. Sometimes it's just about misogyny. Sometimes it's just about racism. Not all discussions are or need to be all-inclusive. Sometimes they are. But other times, a public figure--no matter their sexuality or situation--wants to talk about this one issue and I wish people would let them.
I'm a twenty-nine year old woman living in the closet in my meatspace life. I can see Narnia from here. I work in an office surrounded by women. I live in a city that I don't feel will be entirely welcoming of me or an entirely happy place to live as someone who is not straight and I don't believe most of my family--especially my parents and siblings--will be supportive of me were I to come out. Sure, I can fake it. I am physically attracted to men. I can fake it. I can pretend that I could be happy in a relationship with one and get married and be "normal". But that's not what I want. That is not what I believe my future should be. I have opportunities in this country for equal marriage and an equal life, but my current situation holds me back and that hurts.
Every time another public figure--athlete, politician, musician, actor--comes out and talks about their own struggles, it makes me feel like things can maybe, one day, be okay. I cry tears of joy and relief and maybe just a little bit of a self-pity.
Every time someone tries to derail discussion about LGTBQ issues, I get angry. I get frustrated. I get sad and scared and it hurts like a motherfucker. Sometimes a discussion is just about homosexuality. Sometimes it's just about misogyny. Sometimes it's just about racism. Not all discussions are or need to be all-inclusive. Sometimes they are. But other times, a public figure--no matter their sexuality or situation--wants to talk about this one issue and I wish people would let them.
