So I'm sitting here wondering --

[ashinae]

Is there any point in life in which one is able to tell themselves, "Yes, I made a mistake. I am, right now, owning up to that mistake. It was a mistake, and people make them. If we were infallible, we would not be human. So, yes, hello, mistake! You were made! Now it's time to stop beating myself up about it, and not worry about whether or not you'll have to talk about it and get really upset over it tomorrow. Face tomorrow when it gets here; for tonight, let's just get on with life"?

Is there?

For the love of god. I made a mistake at work today. In fact, I've been really messed up at work for over a week now. Things are Just Bad and Getting Worse. And I made a stupid mistake, and I don't know what kind of paying I'm going to have to do for it. And I'm making myself sick thinking about it. And, no Dad -- you sitting there digging at it and digging at it honestly doesn't help. I talked about it to my manager; she told me some stuff, I admitted that there was a massive communications breakdown... I just don't want to talk about it. I talk about shit when I'm ready to talk about it, and I'm not ready. Honestly, talking about things that I do wrong always makes me feel worse. Why is that hard to understand?

*deep breath*

Anyway, yeah. When, how, does one learn to walk away from their mistakes and not pick at them like so many healing-over scabs? I need this strength.

Also, I am starting to suspect I need a few sessions of counselling, but 1) can't afford it, not really and 2) no fucking time to go. Agh.

Comments

[moonlit-page.livejournal.com]

You owned up. That shows tremendous honor, maturity, and loyalty to your company. You didn't shrink from taking the consequences, either. So bonus points. If you work expects you to be infaliable, it's time for another job. I learned this the really, really hard way, trust me. *hugs* I love you, hang in there. Sometimes all you can do, when things really, really suck, is just HOLD ON, until the scenery changes. Love, Roo

[ashinae.livejournal.com]

*hugs The Roo some hugs*

Thank you for the comment... I know I'm responding late, as I seem to be wont to do, but I appreciated it so much. Had a rough, rough week!

[kortirion.livejournal.com]

You're showing your own maturity by wondering when comes the point when you get over your mistake and move on - you just did.

Everybody - but Everybody makes mistakes, from Bill Gates down - if they tell you they don't/never have - they are lieing through their teeth! Shit happens - they'll get over it. You won't be able to stop yourself beating yourself up about it just like that - just give yourself a few days. As for work, they can't sack you for a genuine mistake, not first time around - and whatever you did that cost them money - believe me, most of the fuckers can well afford it - any come back on you, check your contract of employment - if they want you to make good, I think you'll find that's against the law in general [it is here, other than for theft - which isn't usually done by mistake] Otherwise go to your Citizen's Advice bureau.
((hugs)) Cheer up sweetie - it'll all blow over.

[ashinae.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the comment. You always seem to know just what to say, and it's more appreciated than you could possibly ever know. I don't appreciate you nearly enough, I think! *hugs tight*