pain and suffering in various tempos

Computer having major issues. And, no, this isn't like the false alarm I had back at Christmastime. *G* Well, ultimately, it could probably be fairly easily fixed, but the last time I tried to make things better, I ended up frying my machine.

So, just a heads' up -- I am without access to my own computer for the foreseeable future (hopefully maybe just the weekend). It's going to be going in to the "shop" first thing tomorrow morning, and I guess I'll have it back when I have it back. I'm hoping, really desperately hoping, that this is a very simple thing and everything will be ok and it won't be too terribly expensive to fix. Because... oh, lord, there's just a LOT of stuff still on there that I don't want to lose :-/

So don't do too much while I'm gone, eh? I'll only have sporadic access to my parents' computer. *G*

Since my last post, I have discovered that the DVD player isn't as, well, powerful.

Because the last player was so good, I bought a huge chunk of my DVDs used. Or if they arrived already a tiny bit damaged (scratched), I'd give 'em a go anyway, and 99.9% of the time, the player didn't even recognise any of the damage -- played the DVDs perfectly.

This one? Not so much. Pixelises and skips over the damage.

Honestly -- any advice on how to fight this would make me really, really happy.

When I was in elementary school, and the first few years of high school, I had a friend named Grant. He was the bestest; we were very close. When Dookie exploded on the musical scene, Grant was all over that album like white on rice.

I enjoyed listening to Green Day with him for the next several years (thought Billie Joe was utterly adorkable, too). Then, over Christmas holidays in 9th grade, Grant got sick. Ended up in the hospital. Two days later, called to tell me that he had cancer and I lost it. He called to tell me because he thought I was our group's "strong one", and that I'd be the best one to tell everybody so he didn't have to make a lot of phone calls he didn't have the strength for.

He remained the most faithful Green Day fan I'd ever met, for the next two years, while he went through chemo, got better, got worse, went through chemo, and over and over. Then, December 27, 1998, my mum came home from work to tell me that Grant had passed away. His funeral was on New Year's Eve... I remember I had to go to work right after the funeral, since he wasn't a family member and also because none of my co-workers wanted to miss their NYE parties just cuz the 16 year old girl had lost one of her very, very best friends. I remember they played Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" at the funeral, and I remember hearing his sister bursting into hysterical tears during that song, when they carried his casket out to be lowered into the ground.

When we got back to school, it was announced over the morning announcements that Grant had died over the holidays. They paused, then, to play Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)".

I was never able to listen to either of those two songs without bursting into tears. Sarah McLachlan, as anybody who reads my journal or talks to me at all should know, has always been one of my very favourite musicians. For some reason, while I always enjoyed Green Day's music, I never really got "into" them, as such, because they were his band. His, and I felt like I was intruding or something.

When deerdancer and I went to see McLachlan live back in May, it never crossed my mind that she might play that song; I've always done my best just to ignore its existence, or change the channel if it came on over the radio (it came on, once, while I was in the shower. Yes, I listen to the radio in the shower. I thought I could handle it; I ended up sobbing in the shower that morning). Of course, she did play that song, and I sat there, in my seat, with deerdancer's arm around my shoulders and she held me while I sat there crying as quietly as I could.

For the past seven years, listening to Green Day always made me a little weepy. But as the years passed, more and more I found I could listen to "Good Riddance" and survive the experience, unless I was for whatever reason a little emotionally fragile, and then I'd end up crying anyway.

And then the Green Day boys showed up in the Establishment. I don't know what happened, exactly. I ended up purchasing American Idiot. Enjoy it thoroughly; enjoy Billie Joe and Mike and Tre as portrayed by their brilliant muns.

And I can sit and listen to "Good Riddance" again, though I can't sit here and type all this out without getting really weepy. *g*

So, yes, I am trying to look at totday as the first day of the rest of my life, or somesuch.

I have no idea, really, what to do with it. Besides start with a good breakfast of Lipton's French Vanilla Tea (omgorgasminacup) and some sort of loverly flavoured oatmeal. Mmmm. Either apples & cinnamon, peaches & cream, or wild berry medley. Decisions, decisions.

Perhaps it's time to really start cleaning up my 'puter. Which, you know, gives me a faboo excuse to spend all day online writing naughty things with my darling rahalia_cat. *G*

Yes. First, breakfast. And while that is happening, Norton can run its disk doctor on my computer to make sure everything is running right.

Back later if/when anybody wants me!

Also: *points at icon, flails at the pretty*

The basic run down:
Had stomach flu for most of the week; wasn't given much time off for it until yesterday. Did some tagging with rahalia_cat and set up journals for two new pups in a new game. Me and my pups have seen better days. Am in fact rather miserable, but that's nothing new. Feel very fat; being sick has made it very difficult to stick to my typical lose-weight eating habits. Have been once again coping with that feeling of being very lonely, despite being often surrounded by people who care about me (co-workers, parents), but not knowing how to go out and meet people, particularly when I am not allowed to limit my hours of availability very much. At least I'll be going to be seeing sara_elf and deerdancer next Friday for Serenity. Have been watching the newest version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy a lot lately. Watched Master and Commander last night. Am not sleeping well. Have laundry list of things I should try to accomplish (including laundry) but I don't have the drive to do any of it.

But I keep trying to smile.

In the dream I had last night, I found this big fluffy black and white bunny that somebody had abandoned. He was the cutest thing ever! And so sweet! And not shy! And I wanted the dream to go on forever because omgfluffybunny!

Yup, that's about all I have to say.

There's a user on LJ who has the same name as one of the characters in my original "epic fantasty" fiction. Saw the name pop up on metaquotes -- and what's more, the user is female, and my character is male.

A very weird moment. Almost as weird as discovering that there's an "Ashinae" in the Star Wars fandom who isn't me!

This randomness brought to you by me. I'm very sleepy.

1) I have so much work to do. Bedroom has been renovated. Need to move back in... oy. Also don't exactly have a bed yet. Just my mattress on the floor. Won't have a bed till Saturday, yay.

2) I hate to break this to the world, but Sarah McLachlan's "Possession" and The Police's "Every Breath You Take" are songs about stalking and obsession. They ain't sexy. They're good songs, yes, but good lord, I'd break up with anybody who wanted to get it on to either of those songs. Then get a restraining order. Of course, I wouldn't ever say this to anybody on a music community or website, but *shudder*. Just *shudder*.

3) Please, for the love of god, can we try to usher in a new era of web design simplicity? Bright red text on a dark red background is awful. Header images that take up half or more of the screen on 1024x768 resolution, and take two minutes to load with a DSL connection really isn't necessary. If I need to scroll a whole page length to see your website, on 1024x768 resolution, I'm outta there. Those blends/banners are beautiful, yes. I envy your mad Photoshop skillz, but can that stuff not be content? It just looks like you're shouting "LOOK HOW BIG MY VIRTUAL PENIS IS". Please stop. Thanks.

4) I was gonna say something really inflammatory here, but shan't. So in conclusion: Jared Leto pretty! Also good actor! Yay!

5) When will James Purefoy do a really, really good movie? Anybody? Or just send him to my house, whichever works.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I just got in. sara_elf and I made some dinner, goofed around as we often do, she showed me her Myst IV game, and then we watched two pretty damned mediocre movies because the beautiful Gerard Butler is in 'em: Tomb Raider 2 and Timeline. Ger pretty. Paul Walker bad actor. Ger pretty. David Thewlis does horrible American accent. Ger pretty. Angelina Jolie does good English accent. Ger pretty.

Did I mention... Ger pretty?

Sorry to everyone whose comments I haven't responded to. Will get to those ASAP.

But first, I need to post this (gacked from everybody!), because, as we all know, I spent virtually all of 2004 unemployed, and, well...

In the year 2005 I resolve to: Spend more time at work. Get your resolution here

Goodnight all, hope nobody's going to be too terribly hung over in the morning, and bring on some goodness (and employment for ME!) in 2005!

PS - Ger pretty.

( #1-#3, hidden cuz they have the potential to make someone rip me a new one )

(4) How come I am having so much trouble drawing a frelling ball of yarn (for helens78 *waves*!) in Illustrator?

(5) Why haven't I heard anything about when the Farscape miniseries is being aired in Canada?

(6) How did I not know about Frou Frou's music earlier? ♥

(7) Why don't I ever have anything to talk about anymore?