FIC: Small Town 5/7 (Sports Night AU)

[ashinae]

Small Town: A Sports Night AU - chapter 5
by ashinae and linden_jay
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7


Dana hung up the phone. "Dan and Bobby never went home last night. They took off right after the party."

Jeremy sighed. Somehow, he wasn't all that surprised. "I haven't seen Casey since the day before yesterday," he supplied.

Dana lifted herself up onto the counter, feet swinging, her hands holding on to the counter so tight her knuckles turned white. "I thought he was going to do that."

"Dan? You knew he was going to leave?"

She nodded. "I've known him since before I could talk. So."

"So," Jeremy echoed. "I don't think Natalie saw it coming. And I don't know what she's going to do to Casey except that he's not going to see it coming."

Dana looked up and over to where Natalie was fussing with merchandise at the cash registers. "She's being very calm so far."

"She's cleaned that counter and reorganised those items three times now."

"As I said, very calm."

Suddenly, a pack of gum flew by and hit the window.

"Like the eye of a hurricane."

"I'm going for coffee!" Natalie declared, then stomped to the door and out.

"I'm glad she left before I did something stupid like mention that additional sugar or caffeine is probably a bad idea," Jeremy announced.

Natalie jaywalked across the street, got honked at a few times, and set herself down on the curb outside of Casey's store. She could wait. She'd wait all day. She pulled out her phone, contemplated sending Danny a text, didn't know what to say, sent one to Jeremy to apologise for throwing the gum, and then resumed waiting. When Alyson unlocked the doors, she was a little surprised to find Natalie outside, and then told her that Casey was in his office, but that she really didn't think he wanted company. Natalie didn't care. She stomped back to the office, opened the door, and stood there and glared. She looked for all the world like a very little thundercloud.

Casey didn't look up. It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting Natalie to show up. And probably yell, or throw things at him. He didn't say anything either, staring at the same piece of paper he'd been reading for the last half an hour or so. Not that he was seeing it.

Natalie picked up a notepad from the other desk. Dan's desk. She ripped off the top sheet, put the pad down, crumpled the paper, then lobbed it off of Casey's head.

He sighed, lifted his head, and looked at her. "Hi."

"You're wearing glasses," she said.

Casey looked down again. "I know."

"You only wear glasses when your eyes are so irritated you can't put your contacts in."

"Natalie..."

"You don't suffer from hayfever," she carried on doggedly, "so it's not allergies."

"Can we please just not do this?" he murmured, pushing his glasses up and rubbing at his eyes.

"Why are your eyes irritated, Casey?"

"Because I am," he said, back to focusing on his piece of paper again. With his red, irritated, glasses-corrected eyes.

"Then why are you irritated, and if you say it's me, I'll throw more paper at you."

He looked right at her, took his glasses off so he could rub at his eyes again, then put them on. "Natalie, I really don't feel like this right now. Do you think it's at all possible that you could yell at me later?"

"No," she said, "I'm going to do it right now."

"Fine. Yell at me. Let it out, if it'll make you feel better." Casey looked tired, and sad, and hurt. And very red-eyed.

"You didn't come to the party last night."

"No. I didn't."

"Dan noticed."

"Dan has barely spoken to me in the past week, Natalie, so I'm not really sure you're right about that."

"He noticed. And you stayed at home. You cried."

Casey didn't say anything. Not even to deny it.

"Casey." Natalie turned and closed the door, then sat up on his desk. "I'm sorry."

He laughed quietly, and it wasn't happy laughter. Sad. Slightly bitter and self-deprecating. "Why are you sorry?"

"That I didn't help sooner."

"There's nothing to help, Natalie." Casey tossed his glasses onto his desk and lifted his head. "I told Dan to go." It never occurred to Casey that he'd barely called him 'Danny' since he'd made the decision to leave.

"You told him to go?" she echoed in horror.

"He wanted to go. He... he told me what Bobby'd offered, told me how great it was, how it'd be more money, how he could find me someone to work in the store... it was what he wanted. He wanted Bobby. So I told him to go."

"Casey, he wants you, and he thinks you're straight, so what was he supposed to do? Spend his whole life with his one-night-stands, wishing it was you?"

"I'm not gay."

"There's middle ground between gay and straight, Casey."

He avoided her eyes. Sometimes she was a little too good.

"That's what I thought. I mean, come on. Roger Federer. David Beckham. Joe Sakic."

"Everyone's a little bit attracted to David Beckham," Casey protested. "It's like a rule."

"I don't think Isaac is."

"You know what I mean."

"You're trying to tell me that just because you jerk off thinking about David Beckham, doesn't mean you're actually attracted to men?"

"How do you--I don't!" Casey insisted, blushing wildly. "Natalie!"

"You're blushing."

"You're talking about... someone should wash your mind out with soap!"

"You're secretly in love with Dan."

He let out a loud huff and reached for his glasses again. "Even if you were right, and I'm not saying you are, it doesn't matter."

"Why doesn't it matter?"

Casey practically exploded out of his chair. "Because he deserves a lot better than a guy who can't figure out if he's straight, bi, or just abnormally attracted to male sports stars, okay? Because he deserves better than me!"

Natalie bounced up off the desk and launched herself at him, arms tight around him. "That's not true!"

"Yes it is," Casey said, closing his eyes tightly and fighting the urge to peel Natalie off of him and go hide in the tiny staff bathroom until Alyson threatened to kill him if he didn't come out.

"No, it's not! Dan's known you this long--since you were little kids--you don't think he knows you? You don't think he knows everything about you, except for the fact that you're secretly in love with him?"

"Stop saying that I'm secretly in love with Dan, Natalie," Casey pleaded.

"Not until you admit it."

He shook his head.

"Why? It's true, Casey. Isn't it? You're in love with him. You're angry that he's left, and you're angry that you told him to do it, and I don't know why you think you're such a terrible person that you don't deserve to be happy with Danny."

"Because. And he's found the person he's supposed to be with, and he's happy. You've seen him with Bobby. I've heard him with Bobby," Casey said, sounding bitter again. "He's what Dan needs."

"Casey, I want to tell you something I told Jeremy last night. I told him that Dan seems happy with Bobby."

Casey flinched without realising he'd done it. "See?" he said quietly.

"But I never got the chance to qualify that statement," she continued. "There's a difference between 'seems' and 'is'."

He sighed. "Now you're being semantical."

"No, I'm not. Dan seems happy, but he isn't. He's settling."

"That's not fair, Natalie. Bobby's a good guy, and he's crazy about Dan. Anyone can see that." Even if it was cutting him up to say that out loud.

"Yeah, he is crazy about Dan, and I can't blame him for that, and neither can you. And he's not the one Dan needs. He needs you."

Casey just shook his head and looked away, his throat feeling tight. He couldn't believe it. Because if it was true, he'd made the biggest mistake of his life, and he couldn't fix it. Dan was gone. "It's too late, Natalie. In case you didn't notice, he left last night."

"You're in love with Dan, aren't you, Casey?"

It was a long, long time before Casey nodded. Just once, but he nodded.

Natalie reached out and squeezed his hand. "Kind of hard, after all this time, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he said, voice very hoarse.

"Will you let me help you fix this?"

"He's gone, Natalie. I'm not sure how you think this is fixable," Casey said, sounding despondent.

"Well, it requires enough patience to wait for Danny to send me my first postcard, and it requires you to trust me enough to run your store for you while you're gone."

"Is this going to end up like an episode of MacGuyver? Am I going to be sent into the wilds of Nova Scotia with nothing but a postcard and a pack of matches and some gum?"

"I might send you with beer, too."

"I don't remember that from the show."

"It's our own very special episode."

Casey tried to laugh, couldn't, and settled for trying to smile.

"Dan's yours, Casey," she said, giving him another hug. "We'll fix this. Trust me."

"I do trust you." Casey just wasn't sure that he hadn't screwed this one up to the point where it couldn't be fixed.

"Good. So we'll wait for Danny."

"But... Danny left, Natalie."

"But he's going to send me a postcard with his address."

"Oh. Right. Have you got this all figured out?"

"Yes. I do. Once we have his address, Jeremy will mapquest it to give you directions, and you can rent a car on JJ's dime, and you can go to Halifax and sweep Daniel Rydell off his feet."

"That's the plan?"

"That's the plan."

"Okay." Casey didn't say anything for a few moments. "He has a boyfriend, Natalie. The first real boyfriend he's had in years."

"He likes you better."

"How did you know?"

"I can tell these things."

"And how did you know that I was... well. That I was... what you said. About him. And me."

"Women have special powers." She smiled. "You can't just show up and see what happens. You have to be honest with him."

"Are you sure about this special powers thing? Because mostly I've just noticed that women frighten me."

"Women frighten you," she said, slowly, "and yet you thought you were completely straight?"

"I never said I was completely straight," Casey protested. "Just that I wasn't gay."

"Oh, Casey."

"Also, you've never had Sally in your bedroom."

"Thank God for that."

"Yeah... not really sure why I mentioned her at all," Casey admitted. "I don't know what I've been doing."

"Casey, there's something I need to tell you."

"You know whenever you say that I get nervous, right?"

"Okay, there are two things I need to tell you. The first is that you were with Sally because you were trying to assert your heterosexuality by sleeping with the scariest woman in town," Natalie said. "Second, that there were two reasons Danny broke it off with Gordon a couple years ago. The first reason was because of that whole thing Gordon had where, 'Oh, I'm not gay, I just like fucking guys, but nobody can know that I like that, so we have to sneak around'."

"Okay, your first point... is really embarrassing, but might have merit," Casey admitted, then frowned. "Gordon was a jackass, Natalie. Dan deserved better than him, and we all knew it. I was glad when Danny broke up with him and not just because of what you think."

"Dan broke up with Gordon because he found out that Gordon had slept with Sally. While they were on one of their 'off-again' phases."

Casey stared at Natalie, then took a step back and stared some more. "How do you know that?"

"Dan told me."

"He never told me that," Casey said, voice numb. "Damn it, Natalie, I've been sleeping with Sally on and off for how long now, and no one ever bothered to tell me that she was who Gordon was cheating on Dan with?"

"I'm the only one who knew," Natalie said. "I'm the only one he ever told."

"We share a wall!" Or they did. Before Casey told Dan to leave. "He's had to listen to that for over a month--no wonder he didn't fight me on leaving!"

"I'm sorry, Casey."

"It's not your fault," he sighed, dropping into his chair again. "I wish he'd told me. That someone had. And I thought I couldn't feel like a bigger asshole."

"Sometimes you're an asshole pretty spectacularly," Natalie said and sat on his desk again. "Then again, sometimes Dan is too. You know what, a whole bunch of us are kind of assholish when we want to be."

"I've really screwed this one up, Natalie. What if it's not fixable?"

"You have to be able to say those three magic little words to Dan."

Casey looked down at his desk again. "What if he doesn't believe me?"

She was quiet a moment, then said, "Just kiss him, Casey. Like you mean it."

He watched Natalie for a few moments, then tugged her in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I hope Jeremy knows how lucky he is."

"I tell him every day," she replied with a smile.

"I'm sure he appreciates that."

"I think he does."

"Well, he might be getting a gesture of appreciation from me, for taking such good care of you. Unless this all goes spectacularly wrong, and then I'm going to have to move somewhere even more remote, and I'm not sure that exists," Casey said.

"Probably in the Yukon."

"That's a long, long way away."

"And there might be polar bears."

"I don't think I would do well around polar bears," Casey said solemnly. "Worse than prison. You can't barter with cigarettes."

She kissed his forehead. "We'll get our boy back, Casey, and you can have lots of noisy sex in your little house."

He groaned. "Is that really something you have to speculate on?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She looked at him, wide-eyed. "Because it'd be hot. Have you seen the two of you recently? Oh my God, I would line up the night before to watch you guys make out."

Casey stared at her, aghast. "Natalie!"

"What?"

"You--I--he--I think I'm scarred for life!"

"Oh you are not. You'd watch me and Dana, wouldn't you? Admit it." She poked him in the shoulder.

"I admit nothing!" At least in part because Sam would kill him.

She laughed and threw her arms around his neck. "I love you, Casey. And I want you to be happy. And if you hurt Danny again no one will ever find your body."

"Do I get any points for trying to do what was best for him?" Casey murmured, hugging her back. "Even if I blew it?"

"Not so much. And Casey?"

"Yeah, Natalie?"

"You really are going to have to tell him."

"I know." Which was part of the reason why Casey was scared shitless.

"It won't be as hard as you think."

"I'm not sure you're right about that," Casey said.

"Why's that?"

"Because I told him to leave. And he did. With Bobby."

"Then you're just going to have to grovel, aren't you?"

"I guess I am," Casey said, squaring his shoulders and looking determined. And scared shitless.

"And you'll have some time. You know Danny'll procrastinate a bit in getting me that postcard. I'd say you've got a couple weeks."

Great. A couple weeks to obsess about how Danny was having a lot of loud, obnoxious sex with sexy Bobby. "Right. Is that penance?"

"I'd imagine so. You get to think about all the sex he's having with sexy Bobby."

"Thanks, Natalie. That's making me feel a lot better."

She patted his shoulder. "I thought it would."

Casey sighed. This was going to be the longest, most stressful, and most unbearable two weeks of his life.

*

This had been the longest, most stressful, most unbearable two weeks of Dan's life. How had he not anticipated the stupid uniform, and the stupid lanyard, and the stupid girls at customer service who couldn't speak clearly into the intercom system to save their lives, and the staff fridge in the back that looked like it hadn't been cleaned out in roughly five thousand years, and--everything?

He hated Halifax. And he hated SportChek. And, dammit, he hated Casey McCall's guts for telling him to go. He wouldn't be here if it weren't for Casey. His best friend of forever, and Dan hated him.

But he hated Howard, his ASM, more than he'd hated anyone else in the entire world. Howard liked Dan. He wanted to make him happy. He was helpful and efficient and eager to please and had worked for SportChek for two years and been made employee of the month sixteen times and Dan wanted to shove Howard's head in a filing cabinet.

"You look like you had a long day," said the voice coming from behind Dan.

Dan looked up from making the schedule and smiled at Bobby. "Hey," he said.

"Wow. Make that a really long day," Bobby said, very sympathetic. "How about dinner, on me?" He held up a bag and grinned. "Even brought you a change of clothes."

"Aren't you a godsend," said Dan. He stood, closed the office door, and gave Bobby a little kiss. "How are you?"

"Mmm... not nearly as tired as you are, by the looks of things," Bobby said. "There's a Keg a few blocks down from here--is that close enough? I'm betting you're getting tired of food court food."

"If I visit New York Fries again, I think I might puke. It's so good but..." Dan shook his head, dragged off his polo shirt, and pulled out the blue button-up Bobby had brought him.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I worked in this store for awhile, when they were between managers, the time before you," Bobby explained. "I overindulged. The shorts just aren't that forgiving."

"No, they're not." Dan looked rueful. "I've already gained weight. Between the training seminar and now working in the store, I could be in a lot of trouble."

"We'll just have to find a way to work it off then," Bobby said, smiling and tugging Dan in for another kiss. "Was that horribly cliche? I think it was horribly cliche, but either way, I think it's a good idea."

"It was horribly cliche, but probably a good idea," Dan said, and then pulled away to change out of his long, khaki shorts, and into the pants. "So. The Keg, huh?"

"I won't make you eat the baked potato if you'd rather escape the carbs."

"That's just mean."

"Or we could just have more sex," Bobby offered.

"There we go," said Dan, not quite looking at him as he shoved his uniform in his bag, and put his wallet, phone, and keys into his pockets.

"Much better," Bobby said, gesturing for Dan to lead off.

Dan led the way out of the office, locked the door behind him, then guided him out through the store and past Howard--who gave a "good night!" so cheerful it set Dan's teeth on edge--and into the mall. "I've also discovered," he said, "that the HMV is extremely dangerous for me, too."

"Uh oh. Is their television series sale proving problematic?" Bobby teased.

Dan heaved a great sigh. "You have no idea."

"You're going to need a raise just to support your habit."

Dan snorted. "Yeah, it's looking that way."

"Well, this meal's on me, so you don't have to worry about hocking a kidney," Bobby promised, leading the way to his car.

"Don't I feel lucky." Dan hesitated at the passenger side of Bobby's car.

Bobby unlocked the doors, and started to climb inside. "You coming?"

"Oh," said Dan, "right. Yeah." He climbed into the car, and looked out the window as Bobby started to drive out of the parking lot.

The drive to the Keg was quiet, at least as far as conversation was concerned. Bobby kept changing stations, singing quietly along to the radio before pulling into the restaurant parking lot.

Dan glanced at him, and made sure to grab the bag with his uniform in it, feeling a bit like a dork carrying it into the restaurant. They had a few minutes' wait for a table, and Dan pulled out his phone, saw that he had a few texts from Dana, and then replaced his phone in his pocket. "I'm sorry," he said, "did I remember to ask you what kind of day you had?" God, he was tired.

"It's okay," Bobby said, smiling at Dan. "You had the thousand yard stare when I showed up. My day was fine. Slow, even. It's going to get busy soon though... we always get a lot of staffing turnover this time of the year, and that means big decisions get made."

Dan nodded. "Right. I've already had six interviews for part-timers, and I'm only just starting to get to know everyone's names."

"That's still pretty good for two weeks," Bobby said. "It's a big store, Dan--you'll get the hang of it in no time, I'm sure."

"Yeah," said Dan. They followed the host through the restaurant--he was cute, really cute, and ridiculously young, and when had Dan started chasing twinks?--and were seated in a quiet little booth.

"Much better than New York Fries," Bobby said, ordering a pint of beer and sighing as he leaned back against his side of the booth.

Dan ordered a beer, too, though he was tempted by the chocolate martini, and then sat back, too, looking across at Bobby wordlessly.

"You really do look tired," Bobby said. "I don't mean to keep saying that, but is dinner too much tonight? I could take you home, order a pizza, if that's better," he offered, looking around for the server.

"I don't think I can see you anymore," Dan said.

Bobby turned back to look at Dan and laughed. "What, have you forgotten who I am again?" he said, smiling at him.

Dan didn't laugh, and he didn't smile. He spoke in a monotone. "I think you're falling in love with me. I can't give you what you want."

The smile slid off Bobby's face. "Dan... Danny, this isn't funny," he said quietly. He never called him Danny.

"I know it's not. Bobby, I can't love you back. I like you a lot. But I can't love you."

Bobby didn't speak for a long time, and when he did, his voice sounded like he was trying not to cry. "You mind telling me why not?"

"Because I've been in love with the same man since I was a teenager, and I'm never going to fall out of love with him, even though I hate his guts. It's not fair for me to do this to you. You deserve someone who can love you, not just like you."

"Casey. It is Casey, right?"

Dan closed his eyes for a moment as he nodded, and then looked at Bobby again. "I wish I could do better by you. But I don't think I can."

Bobby couldn't keep looking at Dan, turning his head away, damp eyes giving him away. "You deserve someone who can love you too, Dan. You know that, right? But you can't let me give you that, can you?"

"It all belongs to him," said Dan, looking down at his hands on the table. "Everything. So maybe I don't deserve that."

Bobby leaned back in his chair, still looking away from Dan. "And there's nothing I can do to change your mind? To give us a chance?" He tried to keep his voice steady, but damn it all, he could hear his voice getting hoarse the more he spoke.

"I don't want to hurt you," Dan said. "If I try to keep this up, I'm going to hurt you."

Bobby nodded, throat tight as he reached for his wallet, hesitated, then left enough on the table to cover their drinks. He cleared his throat. "The job offer was legitimate, Dan. It wasn't just so I could get into your pants. You're a good manager, and you'll do well. I won't... this won't change how I work with you," he said, taking a deep breath. "I kind of want to punch Casey right now, but he's not here, so why don't I just give you a ride home."

Dan looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "All right. Thank you, Bobby. For everything. And I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

Bobby held up his hand. "If you apologise right now, I'm either going to embarrass myself by crying in the middle of the restaurant, or begging you not to break up with me, so... maybe you should not do that."

Dan nodded again, then rose to his feet. "Yeah. Okay. Then we should go."

"Okay," Bobby said, standing as well, then stepping forward and giving Dan an impromptu hug, eyes closing as he inhaled deeply, lips just barely brushing Dan's neck before he pulled away just as abruptly, turning and heading for the parking lot.

Dan followed behind him, head down, like a kicked puppy. Why couldn't he make this work? Why couldn't he make this real?

Damn you, Casey. This is all your fault.

*

Dan was stuck in Halifax, in a job he hated, and sitting on the couch in front of Firefly, eating ice cream out of the container. His life was pathetic in remarkable ways. Which meant this was as good a time as any for the doorbell to ring. He sighed heavily, put the ice cream down on the coffee table, and got to his feet. He opened the door without looking through the peephole, then froze where he was, hand still on the doorknob.

"I heard your footsteps coming, but I wasn't sure you'd open the door."

"Fuck you, Casey." Dan closed the door. Then he opened it again. "Fuck you so hard."

Okay. Casey was pretty sure he deserved that. "Does that mean I can't come in?" he said, trying to smile and failing miserably. He was still holding the postcard Dan'd sent Natalie.

Dan turned around and stomped into his tiny, tiny house.

Casey sighed and followed him inside, closing and locking the door behind himself. He supposed he deserved that too.

Dan sat down on the couch, crossed his arms and legs, and stared at Casey.

He followed Danny over and sat down on the chair across from the couch, hands resting on his knees as he leaned in closer to Dan. "I'm sorry."

"I fucking hate Halifax," Dan said.

"I know," Casey said softly. "I remember college."

"I broke up with Bobby."

"You broke up with Bobby?" And that gave Casey hope, and then made him feel like he was possibly the lowest bottom feeding jerk on the face of the planet.

"Yeah, because I was stringing him along, and it made me a jackass. I don't like being a jackass, even when I am a jackass."

"Danny... you could never be as big a jackass as I've been a jackass."

"No, I don't think I could, you jackass."

"Yeah, fair enough," Casey admitted, trying to figure out what to say, and how to say it. Like he hadn't been practicing it the whole way here. "Danny, come home."

"Why?" Dan demanded.

"Because the town isn't the same without you. Because Natalie's dropping things on my head, and Sam just glowers when he sees me, and Jeremy's denying me bandaids and epsom salts. Because Isaac misses you, and Monica's worried about you, and Alyson's tried to fire me three times since you left and she works for me." He took a deep breath. "But most of all, come home because I want you to. I need you to. Because I love you."

Dan stared at him for a long moment, then abruptly got up and grabbed the ice cream container to take it to the kitchen. "You forgot about Dana," he called back to Casey, sounding annoyed.

"Dana's the one secretly handing Natalie the things to throw at me," Casey said, getting up to follow Dan, shoving down a bit of panic. "Kim claims that she's going to lose every match she plays without you there to cheer her on. Elliott's thinking about going kosher to distract himself; Chris, Will, and Dave are having to find creative ways to keep Kim from hitting on every new person who comes through town because she's trying to find a new 'you' and she can't find a new 'you' because you're the only 'you', so she ends up scaring them off," he finishes. "And? Because I love you."

"Elliott's never been kosher," Dan said, from inside the freezer. His freezer was messy. He needed to fix that before he could put the ice cream back. Casey was here. Why was Casey here? Why did he keep saying he loved Dan? He was so full of shit it was coming out his ears.

"Yeah, well, that's where the 'going' part comes in," Casey said. He came over and took the ice cream from Dan, moved three things in the freezer, then put the ice cream away and closed the freezer door. "Also, I ended things with Sally. Or I would have, if she hadn't unceremoniously dumped me on my ass about thirty seconds before I was going to break up with her. Want to know why she did it?" he asked, then kept going without Dan being able to interrupt. "Because she thinks that I'm in love with you. You know what else? She's right."

"Stop it," Dan said, voice choked, as he took a step back and bumped into the counter. "Stop saying it, because you don't mean it."

"I didn't come to your going away party at Isaac's, even though I said I was going to come. Do you know why?" Casey said, moving to stand in front of Dan, one hand on either side of his waist, against the counter. "I'll tell you, even though it's embarrassing and not really all that manly. Because I was crying. Because I couldn't stop crying. And because I knew if I left the house, even if I could stop crying about you going away, everyone would know. Especially you. And that you might stay, and I couldn't let myself guilt you into that."

Dan's chest rose and fell rapidly as he stared up at Casey, eyes very wide. "Don't do this to me," he said. "I can't--you can't--Casey."

"Roger Federer. David Beckham. Joe Sakic."

"I hate your living, breathing guts," Dan whispered.

"I know," Casey said. "I know, Danny. And however much you hate me, it's nothing compared to how much I hate myself right now."

"Fuck you. You broke my heart."

God, that hurt. And he deserved it. All of it. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Danny. I just wanted you to be happy, and you..."

"You told me to leave. You wanted me to go away." Dan's voice cracked. "I fucking hate you so much."

"I wanted you to be happy. I thought you'd be happy with Bobby. And I thought... I thought you deserved better than me." He laughed bitterly--it wasn't funny, but it was true. "I'm too old to not know what I want... too old to be a frickin' virgin. Too old to be laying all of that on my best friend, because what if I lost you? And then I lost you anyway."

Dan stared at him, still breathing hard and fast, his hands up near Casey's on the counter, gripping its edge, white-knuckled. "You--I--a virgin?"

Casey lifted his hands, sighed, and let them fall back to the counter again. "Yeah. Yeah, you could say... yeah."

"You're not a virgin, Casey," Dan said. "You've had sex before. That makes you not a virgin."

"Okay, technically you're right, but if we're being literal, and we're talking about... it's just... okay, I think you know what I mean, Danny."

Dan stared up at him some more. Suddenly he surged forward, both hands moving to Casey's head, holding him still as he kissed him hard and desperate and demanding. It was over just as quickly as it had started and Dan leaned back against the counter again, hardly daring to breathe.

Casey stared back at him, eyes wide as he gasped for breath and stood right where he was, frozen in place for a solid few seconds. Right up until he took that one step he needed to be close enough to pin Dan to the counter, his hand pushing into Dan's hair, Casey's turn to kiss him this time, needy and breathless and moaning--fucking moaning into Dan's mouth.

Dan closed his eyes and lifted his arms, wrapped them around Casey's shoulders, and moaned in echo of Casey. This couldn't be real. He'd imagined it so many times, and he was in a sugar coma, and it was a dream. All just a dream. But Casey tasted real, felt real, smelled real--right there, pushed against him, lips against lips, and his tongue--yes--Casey.

"Danny." It was only right then with his lips against Dan's, tasting him, whispering his name against them, that Casey realised that he'd never expected Danny to open the door. Never thought he'd listen, never thought he'd let Casey get this close to him. And maybe when the kiss was over, Dan was going to push him away and shove him out the door. But right then, in that moment, Casey also realised that he was never, ever going to let Dan go. Not even if he spent the rest of his life on his knees convincing Dan to let him stay.

"Don't you dare move," Dan whispered, clutching him tight. "Don't you fucking go anywhere, or--" Or he'd break. "Just stay right here." If either of them let go, Dan was sure he'd start shaking and never be able to stop.

"I won't go," Casey promised, his own arms wrapped around Dan. "I promise, I won't go," he whispered, kissing Dan again, slower, taking his time. Tasting him. "I'm so sorry, Danny. Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"I love you, Casey." Dan spoke, very softly, against his lips. "What took you so fucking long?"

"I love you," Casey said first. Because that was the most important part. "And because for a smart guy, I can be a complete idiot."

Dan looked at him a moment, gave a crooked little smile, then jumped up to sit on the counter. He put his legs around Casey's back, and drew him closer, his hands coming up to touch Casey's hair, his face, his mouth, as he looked down at him quietly. He couldn't stop touching him. He couldn't stop watching him. He was afraid if he lost contact, even for a moment, Casey would turn to smoke and disappear.

Casey smiled a little bit at Dan, letting Dan pull him up against the counter, leaning into every touch of his hand, kissing his fingertips as they passed by his mouth. "I'm not going anywhere," he repeated softly.

"Do you really want me to come home?" Dan asked. "I will. For you. I'll quit that fucking job so fast and come home."

"I want you to come home," Casey said immediately. "I want it for me, and I want it for you, because what the fuck was I thinking, telling you that working at a SportChek was the right decision to make. For anyone else, yes. But not for you. You belong in our tiny little town with our strange people that we all love."

Dan ran his fingers through Casey's hair again. "I'm renting this place on a month-to-month basis," he said. "Most of my stuff is actually in storage back in Port Bowmore. I just--I couldn't--this place isn't right."

"Really? Really?" This time, Casey beamed up at him. "I know I shouldn't ask it, even though you asked me, but Danny, come home, please?"

Dan nodded. "I'll come home," he said. "Even if it's just to hear you calling me 'Danny' again."

"Danny," Casey said immediately, leaning up and going for another kiss. It was different, kissing a guy, and maybe it should be weird, but it wasn't. Nothing was weird, because it was Dan. His Dan. His Danny. "I'll call you Danny for breakfast, lunch, supper, and dessert if you want."

Dan needed to be closer again. He slipped carefully off the counter and pulled Casey into another long kiss; learning him, tasting him, every bit of him. He held on like he was afraid Casey would disappear again, arched up to him, kissed him again and again until he had to pull back, gasping for breath. "Casey."

"I should never have let you go. I won't do it again, I promise, I won't do it again," Casey gasped, closing his eyes, leaning his head against Dan's shoulder. "Just forgive me for it this one time, and I promise, it won't happen again."

Dan brushed his lips against Casey's ear. "I forgive you," he said.

And over a month's worth of tension rolled off of Casey's shoulders with those three words. He'd be lucky if he didn't break down and cry right there in Dan's kitchen. "Thank you... thank you," he whispered.

"Come with me," Dan said, firmly, and he squirmed his way out of Casey's arms. He took Casey's hand, and dragged him over to the couch, and settled in against him, pulling Casey's arms around him again. He closed his eyes. Familiar. They'd done this before. "For a guy who insisted he was straight," Dan said, "you sure spent an awful lot of time cuddling your gay best friend."

"I never said I was straight," Casey murmured, wrapping his arms more tightly around Dan's body. "Just that I wasn't gay."

Dan lifted his hand to reach back and run his fingers a little awkwardly through Casey's hair. "When I broke up with Bobby, he knew it was because of you."

"I should feel a lot worse about that than I do," Casey said, and he's not kidding either. "I disliked him so much and all he did to earn it was fall for you. Something I can't blame him for."

"I do feel kind of like a bastard that I couldn't give him what he wanted," Dan admitted. "But nobody else is you."

"Something else I feel like kind of a bad person about," Casey said. "But you're here. And I didn't have to fight him for you, which I was pretty much expecting to have to do."

"I could call him up, and fill a kiddie pool with jell-o," Dan offered.

"Something tells me I'd end up with my ass soundly kicked and a face full of jello."

"You think you couldn't take him?"

"In general? No. In the battle for the hand of Dan Rydell? Bet your ass," Casey decided, revising his earlier statement.

Dan leaned his head against Casey's shoulder. "And you'd better."

"Do I have to fight? Is that what it'll take? Because I will do whatever it takes. I know I've been slow getting here, and that Natalie had to kick my ass and beat me with breakfast cereal, but I'm here for real, Danny."

"No, you're not going to have to beat him up in a tub of jell-o," Dan told him. "But you've kind of got a whole hell of a lot of proving-to-me to do."

"I know. And I know I don't know anything... much. About... you know. Being with a guy. And I know I haven't given you any reason to trust me, but I really didn't know what was going on in my own head," Casey said. "I'd never jerk you around on purpose."

"First, I've got a whole lot of experience being with a guy, so I think it's safe to say I can help you on that one. Second, you did jerk me around, but I don't believe you did it on purpose. Maliciously. So I will forgive you for that."

"I'm glad you're not worried about that part, even if I'm kind of worried about making an idiot of myself, and that... really makes me feel like maybe I can make it up to you. That you believe that I didn't try to hurt you. Even when I did, it was because I thought I was doing the right thing," Casey sighed.

"Well, the first thing we're doing, is not having sex till we get home," Dan said.

Well, now, that surprised Casey. "We're not?" His mind started racing, imagining everything he could have possibly done wrong, aside from the obvious. From how things were in the kitchen, he would have guessed that Dan wanted to have sex with him rather soon.

"Don't get me wrong. I want to have sex with you. I want to have a lot of really loud sex with you." Dan found Casey's hand, played with his fingers a little bit, then squirmed around to look at him. "But it'll take a few days again to quit the job, get everything packed up and arranged for me to head back to Port Bowmore, and then the five-hour drive home. So... if you still want this by the time we get home--to our own bed--then I think that'll say something. Right? Also, consider it punishment."

A few days? Casey groaned, and had to keep reminding himself that he earned this. "Right. Punishment. Right. Am I going to have to leave and go back to the hotel room I rented?"

"Not on your life."

"Thank God," Casey sighed. "I wasn't sure I could get you to see me, and I needed somewhere to shower between sleeping on your front porch and begging you to talk to me."

"So it's not exactly the best hotel in Halifax, huh?"

"It's the closest one to your apartment. And it's not strictly an hotel as an 'ote'," Casey said. "The first and last letters are burned out on the sign."

"I would never make you go back to a crappy ote," Dan told him with a grin. And then he settled back against Casey, closed his eyes again, and made himself relax when he fell quiet. He needed all that tension to drain out of his body.

Casey went quiet for a long time as well, his fingers sliding against Dan's back. "Danny? Do the managers of SportChek's have to wear uniforms too?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Dan muttered.

"I am so, so sorry, and I will make it up to you in whatever manner you see fit."

"Hey, remember that chicken dish you made? With the sauce, and the pineapple, and all the vegetables? Months ago. After we had that really successful friends and family sale day."

"I'm going to be making it every week for the foreseeable future?"

"Yes." Dan smiled. "Casey?"

"Yeah, Danny?"

"Pull the blanket down from the back of the couch, and turn off the lamp."

Casey reached up behind him and draped the blanket over both of them, clicking off the lamp as soon as he's got it settled properly, then curling up with Dan again. "Better?"

"Perfect," Dan said. "And if you move before morning, you'll have a very grumpy man on your hands."

"Then I will remain still, as I know what you're like when you're grumpy." Plus? Casey didn't have any inclination to move at all.

"You're also going to be making breakfast," Dan said.

"French toast or pancakes?"

"Pancakes, please."

"I just hope you've got everything I need in your kitchen, or I'm going to have to risk your displeasure by running to the store," Casey said.

"If there isn't, you'll be making French toast."

"I will find a way," Casey vowed. "Breakfast for Danny."

Dan made a happy little noise, and fell very still. A few minutes later, he was fast asleep.

Casey took a lot longer before he was able to do the same. For one, his cock was pressing against his zipper in an entirely uncomfortable way... but more importantly, he just couldn't shake the feeling that if he closed his eyes, he might lose all of this. And he couldn't lose Danny again.


| Chapter 6 |