So I'm sitting here wondering --

Is there any point in life in which one is able to tell themselves, "Yes, I made a mistake. I am, right now, owning up to that mistake. It was a mistake, and people make them. If we were infallible, we would not be human. So, yes, hello, mistake! You were made! Now it's time to stop beating myself up about it, and not worry about whether or not you'll have to talk about it and get really upset over it tomorrow. Face tomorrow when it gets here; for tonight, let's just get on with life"?

Is there?

For the love of god. I made a mistake at work today. In fact, I've been really messed up at work for over a week now. Things are Just Bad and Getting Worse. And I made a stupid mistake, and I don't know what kind of paying I'm going to have to do for it. And I'm making myself sick thinking about it. And, no Dad -- you sitting there digging at it and digging at it honestly doesn't help. I talked about it to my manager; she told me some stuff, I admitted that there was a massive communications breakdown... I just don't want to talk about it. I talk about shit when I'm ready to talk about it, and I'm not ready. Honestly, talking about things that I do wrong always makes me feel worse. Why is that hard to understand?

*deep breath*

Anyway, yeah. When, how, does one learn to walk away from their mistakes and not pick at them like so many healing-over scabs? I need this strength.

Also, I am starting to suspect I need a few sessions of counselling, but 1) can't afford it, not really and 2) no fucking time to go. Agh.