FIC: The Pack (Stargate: Atlantis AU) 5/10

[ashinae]

The Pack: A Stargate: Atlantis AU - Chapter 5
by ashinae and jay_linden
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10



John staggered naked out of the shower, dropping his towel behind him. He looked wordlessly at Rodney. He felt as if he was still covered in Ronon's blood.

Rodney reached out for him, offering John his arm. "Hey... it's okay," he said. "You know that, right?"

John nodded. He pulled Rodney into his arms.

Rodney held on tightly. "Have you done this before?"

"This was only my second time. The first time I tried, the change didn't take. I killed a very good man." John hid his face in Rodney's neck, letting himself breathe in Rodney's scent.

"No, he died because the change failed," Rodney said. "And you wouldn't have done it if he hadn't asked you to."

John let out a soft noise, almost a whine. The wolf was still close. "Thank you, Rodney."

"Ronon made it. He's one of you now. That's what's important."

"He'll make a good third," John said. He sounded exhausted.

"He will," Rodney said, starting to manhandle John toward the bed.

John let him. There was really no way he was going to fight Rodney on this one. He let Rodney guide him down to the bed and opened his arms for him, pulled him down against him, and held him tight. "I didn't fail him, Rodney."

"No, you didn't. You've got a brand new shiny giant wolf to track paw prints and mud all over Atlantis," Rodney said, squirming around until he can bring up the covers.

John laughed softly. "We don't track mud, Rodney."

"Tracking in mud... bringing in fleas... shedding all over the carpet..."

***

John and Ronon decided they hated the Replicators.

They couldn't be eaten, they couldn't be shot, they could stick their hands in your head and make you experience things that weren't real, they could infect people. They almost killed Elizabeth, and while John still did not speculate about anything that may or may not be happening privately between Carson and Elizabeth, John suspected that Ronon might have certain feelings that they were not going to talk about.

They spent an evening with Elizabeth in her quarters; John, Rodney, Carson, Teyla, Lorne, and Ronon. Elizabeth told them everything she experienced.

Wolves had guided her home.

There was a smile on Ronon's face when Elizabeth said that, that John would never forget.

***

The weird thing was, as John found it harder and harder to deal without Rodney--Rodney found the same thing happening to him.

***

The last time John and some of the other wolves had fallen into the hands of the Genii, they'd been gassed. It was a gas that was very effective against the wolves. After all, the Genii had been the first people aside from the Athosians to learn about the werewolves--much to John's chagrin, of course.

It seemed they'd worked on other methods that could incapacitate a wolf, and Kolya'd got his hands on at least one these methods. The sedative was just about perfect, even John had to admit that--and he was the one it was working on. He felt utterly detached, and couldn't find his wolf.

If he could just find the wolf, he could probably escape. He was Alpha. He could change whenever he wanted.

The wolf was very, very far away.

And the Wraith?

Far too close for comfort.

***

Everyone was talking at once... talking, working, running from station to station. The clock was ticking, and they all knew it. They had to find Colonel Sheppard before the end of the three hours they'd been given by Kolya.

Everyone was working, running, talking. Everyone but Rodney. He was still in the same seat he'd dropped into since the video feed went dead.

As if like magic (ha), Carson appeared at his side. "Rodney," he said, softly.

Rodney started when Carson spoke. He hadn't even noticed him sitting next to him. "Sorry... yes, I know, I need to... I should talk to Ladon, see if he's got anything for me," he said.

"He's with Elizabeth right now," Carson said. He squeezed Rodney's shoulder. "Come with me."

"But... I have... I need to get back to work," Rodney said, looking lost.

"Come with me, please, Rodney." Carson hauled him to his feet. Which, in fairness, he should not have been able to do so easily, which meant he was using some kind of magic to cheat. Which was cheating. But Rodney also didn't care right now. He let Carson guide him up and lead him off.

"It's been over a year now, hasn't it?" Carson asked, gently, guiding Rodney right from the tower.

Rodney had to think about it before he answered, but he nodded. "Yeah... about that, yeah."

"They grow on you, don't they? The wolves."

"You could say that," Rodney said, still distracted.

Carson led Rodney to a quiet corridor, and made him sit down on a bench. "Are you okay?"

Rodney looked at Carson like he might possibly be insane. "I really don't think I am," he admitted.

"They grow on you. A wolf. When you love them, it's... it gets harder and harder to be apart from them, as time passes."

"I'm not a wolf though... I'm just a human," he said. He knew that John struggled when they were apart, if the way that he put him into walls once they were back in the same space again was any indication. "Are you saying it works for humans too?"

"Yes, Rodney, it does." Carson squeezed Rodney's shoulder again. "It's a kind of magic, as the song goes."

"Fucking poodle," Rodney muttered, looking down at his hands. "One more thing he didn't bother to mention."

"But there's something more than that," Carson added. "You've been together for over a year, Rodney. Not many people make it that long in any relationship, and I think at this point it's safe to say that's what this is. Isn't it?"

Rodney--rare for him--couldn't speak. But he did nod, very clearly. Yeah. It was a relationship.

"And you just watched your... partner being tortured. Combine that with the magic of feeling that way about a werewolf and you're not functioning at capacity at the moment."

Rodney flinched when Carson said 'tortured', but he nodded again. "I have to," he said to Carson. "I have to get him back. I promised him that I would always find him."

"We'll get him back, Rodney. I just wish we could pin-point a planet... I know a brilliant locator spell."

"And I need to get you close enough so that you can do that," Rodney said, blowing out a slow breath. "Okay. I can do this now." He turned to look at Carson. "We'll find him."

"Yes. We will."

Another deep breath in and out, and Rodney got up, looking like he was on a mission. "Thanks, Carson. I'll let you know as soon as we find something," he promised.

Carson dimpled in his direction. "Good. You know where to find me."

Rodney McKay back on track; mission accomplished.

***

John pushed himself up with a groan so he could sit against the wall of his cell.

Just as soon as he had all his faculties back, he was gonna eat Kolya. There was, perhaps, something to worry about in that line of thinking because of the whole situation with the Wraith, but that really didn't stop him from going to that line of thinking.

Eating Kolya would be worth it.

"You are awake." A low voice came from the cell next to John's.

"For now," John said, shaking his head to try to clear it.

"You should not be. Not this soon."

"I never do what's expected."

There was a sound that might possibly have been a laugh.

"How long was I out?"

"Not as long as you should have been."

"Okay, so you don't have a watch, I get it," John muttered. He shook his head again.

The door opened. A few Genii soldiers came in. One was holding a syringe.

John forced himself to get, shakily, to his feet. He was ready. He would fight. He'd have to fight.

He couldn't change.

He wasn't fast enough. Wasn't strong enough. He had forgotten what it meant to be human; what it meant to be able to be overpowered, forced to the floor, to have his strength taken away.

The drug coursed through his veins. He wanted to sleep.

"Dammit."

The soldiers left, and a door closed down at the end of the hallway. "They fear you. Why?"

"Is that what I smelled?" John asked, forcing himself to his hands and knees. He crawled to the wall again and slumped against it. "They think I'm a monster."

"Why?" True curiosity from the other cell.

"Because I can turn into one," John said, grinning. He felt hazy. Distant. "It's why they keep drugging me. If they didn't, I could change. Rip them apart with my teeth and claws and escape." He paused, then added in a sort of far-away sounding voice, "Wonder if the drug has an effect on the Wraith when it feeds on me."

"Not in the way that you mean."

It took a little too long for that to really register. "What?"

"The Wraith knows that it's there, Sheppard. Its presence is obvious. But it does not affect him."

John was quiet another long moment. He actually felt himself starting to drift off to sleep before he gave himself another shake. "I don't remember telling you my name."

"You did not."

John turned his head to the bars separating the two cells. "Then how do you know?"

"I heard it."

John forced himself to his feet. "When?"

"You know when. Don't you?" He was still in the shadows.

John sniffed the air. Not all of his senses were dulled by the drug. "You..." He took a few steps forward.

And passed out.

***

John wasn't exactly in the mood to talk when he was deposited back in his cell. He couldn't heal from the Wraith feeding on him. The Genii drug was just too potent. He rolled onto his back, forced his eyes open, and looked up at the ceiling. "You're going to kill me," he said. "There's not a lot that can kill a werewolf, but you're gonna manage it."

"Yes. I will." There was no triumph in the Wraith's voice. "You should already be dead. You know that, don't you, Sheppard?"

"Wolves are harder to kill than an ordinary human," John said. "Probably because we're not ordinary humans."

"Tell me more. Tell me why every time I feed, you have started to recover from the feeding process."

"We heal faster," John said. "Our bodies are more efficient. Work harder. Keep us strong, healthy, and young. We... we can fight you. Win. I need to get out of here."

"That is not possible. There is no escape, Sheppard."

John didn't respond to that. "We know a lot more about you--about Wraith--than you do about us, huh?"

"I do not know," the Wraith admitted, very reluctantly. "I have been here a long time."

"If I missed a dose of the drug, I'd be able to recover long enough to escape," John said. "This cell wouldn't hold me." He pushed himself up onto his knees, then attempted standing. He fell down.

"It is hard to believe that when you cannot get up off the floor."

"Then maybe you should stop snacking," John muttered.

"If you were starving, had been starving for longer than you can remember, and fresh prey was placed in front of you... would you stop?"

John sat up. "No," he admitted. "No, I wouldn't be able to." Damn Wraith.

"We are both predators, Sheppard. We have to feed. If it were not for the drugs, how long would it be for you before the beast took over?" he asked.

"It already would have," John said. "And I'd be free."

The Wraith considered that. "It will not work," he said finally. "They will not stop drugging you. They will keep taking us upstairs. And they will make me feed on you until you are dead."

John thought for a moment. "How well do you know the layout of this place?"

"Well enough," he said. "But I cannot escape either."

"We can," John said. "We can escape. I just need enough time for the drug to clear my system."

"It is suicide." The Wraith turned away from John and walked to the other side of the cell.

"Coward."

A long, long pause. "You would call me a coward even though they will come and get us shortly, and I will have your life in my hand?"

"What else have I got to lose?"

"Besides your life? What does it matter if you die at my hand, or die trying to escape? In either case, you will be dead."

"Because if I die trying to escape, then at least I was trying to escape."

It made sense in John's head.

Apparently, it made sense in the Wraith's head too. "Tell me your plan."

***

"McKay." Ronon's long legs always made it easy for him to catch up to Rodney.

"Busy... very busy right now, Ronon, can't stop to chat," McKay said, trying not to lose his train of panicked thought.

"McKay. Lorne's offworld. That leaves me in charge of the pack." And dammit, Lorne was so much better at this than he was. Ronon was the wolf you pulled out when you needed somebody... corrected. "And I know you're not a wolf, but..." He shrugged. "We need you."

Rodney stopped moving, resting his hand against the side of the wall. He swallowed hard. "What do you need?" he said quietly.

"Right now? You need to calm down. I can smell you panicking, and it's distracting."

"It's distracting. Well, I'm sorry if my panicking because my... John has been kidnapped is distracting you, but I think that it's actually a pretty good reason to panic!"

"I've only been a wolf for a few months, McKay," Ronon said. He was close to feeling the thread of his control snapping, and that, he knew, was not good. "We'll be lucky if Lorne makes it back before tomorrow and I really, really don't know what to do. I need--" Yeah, this? Not gonna be easy. Not at all. "I need your help," he ground out from between clenched teeth. "You're Sheppard's mate."

Rodney wasn't stupid. Well, that was an understatement, really--he was a complete and absolute genius, but he'd been called stupid as far as situations like this were concerned. But he really wasn't. Just sometimes a bit more self-centred than was helpful. He sighed, then closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down and find some kind of centre. Some way not to be panicking.

"Thank you," Ronon said gruffly, a few moments later. Then he awkwardly patted Rodney on the shoulder. "We'll get him back."

"I told him I'd always find him," Rodney said, looking up at Ronon. "I promised."

"I'm not gonna let you break that promise."

"Is that a promise?"

Ronon nodded. "Yeah, it is. He's my Alpha. I owe it to him. He gave me a home."

"Okay," Rodney said. "Go. Find him. I'll be ready when you are."

***

John was there for the start of the fight. He put a Genii head into a Genii wall and punched a Genii face and then he met a Genii floor.

When he woke, he felt sharp. Clear-headed. He looked up to see the Wraith's face and let out a startled yelp that he'd be embarrassed about later, when he had time to be embarrassed. "What the hell!"

The Wraith didn't move, focused instead on Sheppard. "Tell me how you feel, Sheppard."

John paused a moment. He stared at the Wraith. "Good," he said. "Strong. The drug's out of my system. I couldn't have been unconscious that long." He looked around. The Genii were all dead. Fed upon. He stared at the Wraith again and backed up, a growl starting low in his throat. A warning.

"Would you attack me now?" the Wraith asked. "After I saved your life?" He lowered his hand, after looking at John's chest for a few moments.

John looked down, then looked up at the Wraith again. "What are you talking about?" he demanded. There would be more guards on the way soon. Very soon.

"You were unconscious for mere minutes--no longer," the Wraith informed him. "You do not know everything about Wraith, Sheppard."

No, apparently he didn't. And he'd have said something about it, but he could smell more Genii on their way. "We have to get out of here now," he said.

"We will have to fight our way out," the Wraith said. He didn't sound like he minded.

A predatory grin spread over John's face. "Yeah," he said. "We will."

The wolf longed to hunt. To inflict as much hurt as had been inflicted upon him.

The Genii guards barely had time to scream when they came in to find out what was taking so long for the prisoners to be delivered to Kolya and his camera. The black wolf fell on them, growling, biting, tearing them apart. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to clean up his own mess.

The Wraith took out his own guards, feeding on them, roaring triumphantly to the ceiling. He looked at the shredded guards, somewhat irritated that he couldn't feed on them as well, then pointed down a hallway. "That way."

John looked up at the Wraith, gave him a wolfy sort of grin, then tore off "that way".

The Wraith could keep up with him. It wasn't as fun as running with Ronon, except for the part where Genii just kept on getting in their way and John got to attack. That part was fun. That part made his senses sing.

That part made him worry about just how alike he might, in fact, be to a Wraith.

The Wraith stopped when they made it out of the building, lifting his head to the sky, breathing in the fresh air. He smiled. John watched him, warily, then turned away. The fresh air felt good. And it smelled like humans. Genii. They'd be guarding the gate. They'd be out searching. He gave a soft growl and sniffed the ground.

Someone had been here recently.

"We will never make it off the planet alive... but I will die in the open air," the Wraith said.

John huffed at him. Pessimist. He barked, then turned and bounded off into the woods.

They'd get out alive. He had to go home to Rodney, who was probably freaking out quite a lot.

The Wraith ran after him, keeping up easily. Some things were a lot easier when you'd just eaten an entire contingent of Genii.

***

"Ronon says he's sorry he left you behind, Rodney." John sat down on the bed next to him and bumped his shoulder. "Will you forgive him?"

"He told me to sit and stay," Rodney said through his teeth. "Sit. And. Stay."

"He told Teyla the same thing. She's about as impressed as you. I think he was trying to prove himself to me."

Rodney huffed softly. And... was he pouting?

"Hey," said John. He reached out and put his hand on the back of Rodney's neck. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"He did a really good job," Rodney said reluctantly. "You should be proud of him. I'll stop being pissed at him in a day or two."

"Yeah, he did. Would I have preferred it if he relied on you and Teyla, too? Of course. We're a team." John turned to him, running his fingers along Rodney's neck, feeling his pulse under his fingers. "You know what kept me fighting? Coming home to you."

"Good," Rodney said. "That's your job, when you're out there. It's my job to find you."

John was quiet a moment. Then he whispered, "If you asked, Rodney..."

Rodney shook his head, and placed his finger on John's lips. "Shh."

John bit playfully at Rodney's finger. "Mine?"

He smiled. "Yours," he agreed. "Promise me something?"

"Anything in my power to promise, Rodney."

"Next time we come across Kolya? Please kill him extremely dead for me?"

John snarled. "That's the plan. Even if I have to rip him apart with my own teeth."

"You'd have to sell tickets."

***

Ronon had a scuffle with Lieutenant Anderton.

Anderton ended up in the infirmary.

Some of the wolves were getting restless. Maybe even a bit frightened. It wasn't all that long ago that it looked like Elizabeth might not be returning to Atlantis; it was even closer to present that she nearly died.

It was the Replicator threat mixed with the Wraith threat. Sure, the Wraith were fighting amongst themselves, but that didn't make things better.

Ronon and Lorne proved themselves again and again. John really couldn't have asked for better from them. They were invaluable.

He just wished that the other wolves wouldn't keep getting so uppity. So far there had been no deaths, but they kept ending up in the infirmary. Ronon was a force to be reckoned with.

But then there was another land battle with the Wraith.

The Wraith hadn't anticipated it. John and his people never did find out just why they ran into each other in the first place, but they were on the ground. It was close to the full moon on the planet. Most of wolves were able to undergo the change.

It was a slaughter.

And Ronon--huge, powerful--Ronon was one of the first to change. The first to attack. The first to kill.

From that point on, there was little concern that Ronon would have to kill one of his own to cement his position in the pack.

He may not have been born on Earth, but he was one of them. He fought with them. Bled with them. He was their brother.

***

John paced. "How much longer?" he asked.

"Not long," Elizabeth replied. She sounded amused.

"Give me better than that, Elizabeth," John snapped.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

To his credit, he looked sheepish. "Sorry."

"Any moment now."

John was gonna meet Rodney's family. Well, his sister. She was pretty much all he had left. John had wondered, at least once, whether or not she'd hate him for making Rodney his mate. He'd learned not to care what people thought of him, but for some reason? He gave a good damn whether or not Jeannie Miller hated him.

***

"Hello, Jeannie. May I come in?" John gave her his most charming smile.

She gave him a cool, discerning look, as though she was trying to read his mind, and then she stepped aside, gesturing for him to come inside. "Come on in."

He stepped into her quarters and clasped his hands behind his back. "Rodney tells me your husband is a witch."

"A white witch," Jeannie corrected, going over to sit on the edge of her bed.

"Right. Yes. That. A white witch. Good for... good for him."

"Why are you bringing it up?" Jeannie asked, her expression giving nothing away.

"'Cause I'm... a... werewolf."

She gave him the (apparently genetic) McKay 'are you a complete idiot' look. "Yes... I know that," she said.

"Jeannie, I..." He shifted from one foot to the other. "I need to know that you and I are... that you don't..."

"Are you going to hurt my brother?" Jeannie's question came out rapid fire, and out of nowhere.

"I'd never hurt him," John said, just as quick. "He's everything to me. I love him."

"Are you going to take care of him? Keep him safe? Put up with him even when he's an impossible pain in the ass?" And now Jeannie was up and in his face, poky finger and all.

"I already do," John said. "I take care of him as much as he takes care of me. I've never let him down and I don't intend to."

There was a long pause, and then Jeannie smiled at him. "Then we don't have a problem," she said.

John relaxed visibly. "Okay, then," he said, and grinned. "Good."

"Just remember... you'd better make good on those promises you just made me," Jeannie warned him. "It's a very bad idea to be foresworn to the wife of a witch." Her smile got wider, and very dangerous. "I'd hate to have to have him turn you into a standard poodle."

"What is it with you people and poodles?" John asked.

Jeannie just laughed in his face.

***

"You bit me!"

John turned around. "Yes, Rodney, I bit you, and I said I was sorry."

"You bit me, too." Ronon, unlike Rodney, sounded vaguely amused.

"I'm sorry for biting everyone!"

***

"Major?" John caught up with Lorne in the corridor. "Hey."

"Hey," Lorne said, turning around and giving John a very fake smile. "So."

"Have you, uh, made up your mind yet?"

Lorne's smile faltered. "Yeah... I have. I can't go back," he said. "Will I have to desert?"

John rubbed his face. "I can release you from the pack, but..." He didn't want to have to say it out loud. Lorne's record, to this point, was entirely spotless. "It's gonna hurt to let you go."

"It wasn't an easy decision to make," Lorne admitted. He's lost sleep over it, ever since they found out the Ancients were forcing them to leave Atlantis.. "But I can't leave Teyla. And I can't leave Ronon either. Being a lone wolf is hard enough, but he's still--and don't tell him I put it like this--a baby."

John nodded. He leaned against the wall. "Just think. The two of you, starting your own pack out here in the Pegasus galaxy." He managed a very sad smile.

"Pretty small pack," Lorne said. "Nothing's going to be the same anymore."

John shook his head. "No. It's not." He cleared his throat. "Listen. Things are about to get hectic around here. I wanna say... I..." He looked down at Lorne for a long moment, and then gave him that sad smile again when Lorne met his gaze. "I didn't want another second. I'd never had a second before Lieutenant Ford. But you--I couldn't have asked for better. I knew you'd make a good Alpha one day. I just didn't expect that it would be so soon."

Lorne looked down for a moment or two, taking that in. "Thank you, sir," he said, looking up at him again. "If you're right? If I do? It'll be because of what I learned from you."

That made John feel about a thousand feet tall. He reached out for Lorne's hand. "It's been an honour, Evan," he said.

"Thank you," he said, gripping his hand. "Thank you, John."

***

Elizabeth and Carson stood back to watch. There were a few moments, brief though they were, of unbridled joy when Lorne and Ronon were reunited with their Alpha. Ronon, in particular--Elizabeth thought she'd never seen him so happy. But then the three wolves got themselves under control.

John actually reached up and put his hands on either side of Ronon's face. "You good?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Ronon, beaming down at him, still clutching at John's shoulders. "Yeah, I'm good. We're all good."

"But we missed you like hell, sir," Lorne said.

"Look," John said, later, when they all sat together, "I know you're an Alpha now in your own right, but..."

"I'm going back with you," Lorne said, without hesitation.

"So am I," said Ronon.

Lorne looked at Teyla. He knew better than to speak for her.

She smiled and reached for Lorne's hand. "We're all coming back. Atlantis is our home."

"Then we'd better figure out how to go rescue General O'Neill and Woolsey," John said. "The Replicators invaded our city. Our home. We're gonna take it back. We only have three wolves--a fourth once we rescue General O'Neill. But we have Teyla. Rodney. And two witches. They're gonna regret taking what wasn't theirs." He looked fierce and determined in the candlelight. Man--soldier--wolf. Alpha.

Rodney had never been hotter for him.

***

Replicators did not taste good. And really didn't react appropriately to being savaged.

Not that Wraith tasted like a nice medium-rare striploin, but at least they had the decency to yell and bleed and whatnot when they were attacked by teeth and claws.

***

They gave up the pretence of separate quarters. John and Rodney just found themselves a larger space.

John bounded up onto the bed, tail wagging. Then jumped down again and head-butted Rodney right in the hip. Barked a few times and ran to the window, then back to Rodney.

"I am not chasing you," Rodney said. "Do I look like a wolf? No, I am a human being, and that means I don't play 'chase the wolf'."

John's tail and ears sagged. He whined up at Rodney.

Rodney sighed loudly. "Oh, now you're going to make that face? Don't make that face," he protested.

John leaned in and licked Rodney's hand, then took his fingers into his mouth and held them there.

"Next time we go to Earth, I'm getting you chew toys," Rodney scolded, scritching John's ears.

John's entire body thrummed with pleasure at Rodney's touch, then he bounded away again to the door. He scratched at the base of it; Atlantis didn't recognise the pack when they were wolves. Probably for the best, all things considered.

There was a howl, very nearby. The pack was out there, waiting for him. The first full moon back on Atlantis and they wanted to run. To howl. To rejoice in their homecoming. And they wanted their Alpha.

Rodney shook his head and laughed, opening the door for him. "Go--run. Don't eat anything that's going to make you throw up on the floor," he warned him.

John barked once, sat back on his haunches, and threw his head back for one very long, very loud howl. It was echoed, even closer than before. He bounded up to his feet and began to run down the corridor.

"And if you short out any of the electronics marking your territory, I'm not fixing it!" Rodney yelled after him. "Again," he muttered.

***

Wolves have really good hearing, even when they're human.

John decided, after he woke up in the infirmary, that he didn't like Pegasus whales very much, even if they were trying very hard to be helpful.

On the other hand, at least the city had been saved. Rodney said he did it all by himself; later on, John went to personally thank Elizabeth, Teyla, Carson, and Radek. Rodney was never going to do it.

***

Ronon awoke with a bit of a headache and a sudden inability to hold himself entirely upright. He groaned and leaned back against the wall. He was in a cell with Rodney, Teyla, Carson, and he wasn't wearing all his clothes. He appeared to have been hastily dressed by others. The last he remembered, he'd changed into a wolf to attack Kolya and his men.

"So, on the negative side, Kolya's apparently still got a cache of his anti-werewolf tranquilisers," Rodney said, working very, very hard to be calm and not completely lose his mind. After all, this time they were in the cage, and John wasn't. Strange that he was so much more comfortable when it was this way, as opposed to the reverse. "But on the positive side, them having the tranquilisers available means that they haven't resorted to just shooting werewolves in the head. Bonus for us."

"So there's a good chance Sheppard's out there to rescue us," Ronon said. He felt all fuzzy. He didn't like it. "Otherwise why would they still be holding us?"

"Exactly," Teyla said, and she didn't look happy about it. "We are the bait."

Ronon looked at Rodney. "And with you here, there's no way Sheppard won't come."

"Excellent," Rodney said dryly. "I'm the special bait."

"At least they haven't tied you up in town square," Carson said, trying to be reassuring.

"Oh, great. Now that you've said it, do you know what's going to happen?" Rodney's voice got all high pitched.

"They won't do that, Rodney," said Carson. "I think."

"Teyla, tell him to stop trying to cheer me up!" Rodney protested.

"Perhaps it would be best if we just... stayed quiet," she said. "In case the Colonel is trying to signal us."

"Exactly," said Ronon, leaning back. His eyes fell closed.

"Oh, yes, that's alert," Rodney said, looking at Ronon. "I feel safer already."

Ronon shook himself, reminiscent for a moment of the wolf shaking out his fur. "'mawake," he mumbled.

"Rodney, you might as well relax," Teyla told him. "You know that tension won't help."

Rodney huffed--rather like a wolf, actually--and settled.

***

It took the combined efforts of Ronon, Rodney, Teyla, Carson, Lucius, and several villagers to keep John from eating Kolya once he'd killed him.

There was a part of him--the savage part of him--that was somewhat disappointed.

***

"I'm losing him, Elizabeth." John held his head in his hands. "What am I going to--even if he ascends, I'm going to be alone."

"If you don't help him do this, John, he's going to die," she said, gently tugging both hands down from his head. "He has the strength to do it. But he needs you. No matter what the outcome of this is, he needs you."

A growl rose up in his throat, but he didn't try to pull his hands away. "I need him."

"Then help him," Elizabeth said. "Help him, John. And don't give up yet on Meredith Rodney McKay."

"I'm not used to feeling so out of control," John said. "It..." His jaw worked a moment. "It scares me."

She touched his shoulder. "How hard was that to say?" she said softly.

He made a strange choked-back noise. "Extremely."

"Okay," Elizabeth said. She squeezed his shoulder firmly. "You can't control this. But you can help him. Now go. Before this becomes a moment you'll regret."

John got to his feet. Turned to go to the door. Then he turned back to her. "Elizabeth," he said, "Lorne has instructions on what to do should I become incapacitated. 'Mad with grief' qualifies for that. Have you ever seen what happens to a wolf who loses a mate?"

Elizabeth nodded, just once. "I have. I'll be ready," she said, very quietly.

***

John didn't leave Rodney's side. He wouldn't. He carried him to the infirmary. Wouldn't let Ronon touch him; snarled and snapped at him when he tried to help carry Rodney back to the Ancient lab.

He sagged against a console in relief when Rodney awoke. He hung back, head bowed, even as Ronon hugged Rodney. Rodney was his mate. And he hadn't been able to save him. Not this time.

***

John turned wolf and hid under Rodney's bed in the infirmary. Rodney knew he assumed they wouldn't have to have any sort of meaningful conversation if he turned four-legged and furry.

"Try to get some rest, Rodney." Carson slipped out of his lab coat. "Dr Nakamura has the evening shift. She'll take good care of you. Good night." He raised his voice a little, and said, "Good night, Colonel." He gave Rodney's shoulder a squeeze, then turned and headed out. The lights dimmed a little behind him.

Which was about as long as Rodney was willing to wait before he threw back the covers that Carson had insisted on, and started climbing out of the bed, biting back a groan as he did.

John growled at him. Stay in bed.

"Oh, shut up," Rodney said, grunting as he settled in on the floor. "I don't listen to you when you're a human, why would I listen to you while you can't talk?"

John gave him a baleful sort of look, then rested his muzzle on his paws and closed his eyes.

"I know what you're doing, you know," Rodney said. "You forget that I've known you for awhile, John... I know how you work. I know how you think. And I know how you hide."

John huffed but didn't open his eyes.

"You also forget that I don't need your vocal participation in order to have a conversation," Rodney added, scratching at the fur behind John's ears. "You couldn't fix this. You couldn't stop it from happening in the first place, and you couldn't save me, and you're having an Alpha-wolf sulk, because you're supposed to be able to fix everything and save everyone. Especially me. And it doesn't work like that. But you know what? It's partly because of you that I'm still here, right now."

John's tail swept back and forth across the floor. He peeked his eyes open and peered up at Rodney again. He crept out from under the bed a little, then a little more, and finally sat up beside Rodney and licked a broad swath over his cheek.

"You taught me never to give up. Never to accept defeat as a viable option. You, Lieutenant Colonel poodle-face Sheppard, taught me to go out fighting. If it wasn't for you, I would have curled up and let myself die."

John's tail wagged even harder. He climbed right up onto Rodney, forcing him down to the floor, and stood over him. Licked his face very enthusiastically, over and over again.

"Okay--okay, okay, okay, that's enough of that! I am not rounding bases with a dog!"

John pulled back. He grabbed Rodney's sleeve in his mouth and tugged a little, back in the direction of the bed.

Rodney sighed loudly. "Have I mentioned at all today that you're bossy?"

It was rather a miracle that the bed didn't just collapse under their combined weight. But it didn't, and John settled down with a pleased sigh, his head rested against the junction between Rodney's thigh and groin. He closed his eyes.

In all? Not the worst day ever.

***

Carson might not have been a wolf, but as far as Sheppard was concerned, he was pack. They all took his loss hard. There was pretty much no one there--at least, no one within John's immediate circle--whose life he had not saved.

John did his best to comfort Rodney. He wasn't sure he helped much, but at least he tried.

Then everything went to hell from there.

Elizabeth was gone.

No one took it well. John and Rodney had each other, at least, but John was surprised by the depth of Ronon's grief. He did what he could to help him through, but Ronon didn't want a lot of help.

Because of the way that stung--he'd made Ronon, after all--he made extra careful that he didn't push Rodney away. He relied on him. Leaned on him. They had each other.

Teyla had Lorne.

But who did Ronon have, if he wouldn't let John help him?


| Chapter 6 |