FIC: Time Enough and Space 5/5: A Firefly/Doctor Who Crossover AU

[ashinae]

Time Enough and Space: A Firefly/Doctor Who Crossover AU - chapter 5
by ashinae and linden_jay
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5


River's eyes stayed closed for a long time, then they flashed open as she gasped, hands holding tightly onto the pocket watch.

The Doctor reached out to steady her, hands on her shoulders. "Hello," he said, a moment later.

She looked at him and blinked a few times, as though she was waking up. "I know you," she whispered, staring. "I... I know that I know you."

"Yes, you do," he said. "I'm the Doctor."

"The Doctor," she repeated, still staring back at him. And then she smiled, lifted one hand and touched his cheek. "Of course... there you are." River was still herself, in appearance, and yet... she'd changed. She looked older, more curves, less angles. But still very much River.

The Doctor regarded her with a gentle smile, then looked away. First, at Donna, still unusually quiet. She stared, jaw slack, but she was quiet. Then: Simon, just as still as Donna and he still had his eyes closed.

"It's good to see you," said the Doctor when he looked down at River again. "But I think there's someone else who wants to see you even more than I do," He nodding toward Simon.

As soon as River saw him, she gasped again. "Simon," she whispered. She pushed the watch into the Doctor's hands and rushed over to Simon.

Simon gasped, too, when she was there. He took in a breath, then another, and opened his eyes. He reached out with a trembling hand to touch her face, lost for words.

"Simon... my Simon," she said, leaning against his hand, eyes bright.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I'm sorry. Simon, I'm so, so sorry. What you had to go through, what you had to..." She trailed off, trying to keep in control. "That wasn't supposed to happen. I promised you that it would be okay."

"It's not your fault." Simon's voice was hoarse. "It wasn't your fault. We... we made it. We're here now. You and me."

She tucked in against his chest, closing her eyes. "It shouldn't have happened."

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek against her hair. "No. But it did. And we're going to be okay."

River nodded against his chest, pressed in as close as she could get. "I'll make it right. I promise," she whispered.

"I know you will," he whispered back.

She stayed where she was for a long time, before finally lifting her head. She reached for Simon's hand, and turned to look at the Doctor. "I owe you," she said.

"Not a thing," the Doctor said, shaking his head and smiling.

"I disagree," River said. "But that's all right. It's been a long time, Doctor."

"So... it worked then?" Donna said. "All back to normal?"

"All back to normal," said the Doctor. He went to Donna's side and draped an arm around her shoulders. "There she is. The Dancer."

"Pleased to meet you," Donna said, smiling at River.

"Donna Noble," River said, nodding at Donna, still holding Simon's hand. "It's a pleasure."

*

The Doctor sat on the steps next to River. "It's been a very long time," he said, softly.

"Longer for you than it has been for me, I think," she murmured.

"That is entirely possible. It's always so hard to tell.". He rested his knees on his elbows and looked ahead. "It's all gone."

"All of it," she murmured, trying to take that in. "How can all of that--all of us--be gone?" River shook her head. Even though she'd left--chosen to leave--it still didn't feel real. Gallifrey, their people... they were everywhere. Always. Eternal. And no more. She sighed, and sat up a bit straighter. "You didn't have a choice."

He looked at her for a moment, then away again. "No," he said, "perhaps I didn't."

"There hasn't been anyone to tell you that... has there? Of course not," River said, looking forward, not at the Doctor. "No one who understood. No one who knew what was happening. I ran, Doctor. I fled. And I was never sure why no one came after me."

"We couldn't spare anyone," the Doctor said. He was quiet a moment, then seemed to give himself a bit of a shake before he turned to her, beaming. "But here you are. Here I am."

"Here we are," River repeated. "Of all..." she frowned. "How did that one go?"

"Of all the little shops in all of time and space, how'd we walk into the same one? No. Of all the little shops in all of time and space, we walked into the same one. No. Each other's? Yes. That's about right."

"It'll do," River agreed, smiling at that. "I can't repay you for what you've done for us."

"There's no need," the Doctor said. "You don't have to hide anymore. I'm not alone. And that's repayment enough."

Which just made what River was going to ask him that much harder. "I need one more favour from you," she said softly. "I need you to fix it."

He blinked a few times. "Fix what?"

"The chameleon arch," River said, still very calm, and very quiet. "I need you to do what I couldn't do. I need you to fix it so that I can keep my promise to Simon."

"But there's no need now."

"It wasn't because of the Time War," she said. "That was just the moment I realised what I had to do."

"Because you're in love with him," he said. He closed his eyes. He felt old. Very, very old.

"Yes. I am. As much as I can be, given who and what I am," she said. "It's not enough. He deserves more. He deserves so, so much more." She was quiet for a few moments. "And so do I."

He rubbed at his face. "I just found you. And you're going to be gone again."

"I'm sorry," River said. "I am. Truly sorry. If there was anyone else I could ask, I would." But there was no one else. No one in the universe. No one left but the two of them.

He was quiet again for a moment longer, then asked, "When?"

She reached down and took his hand in hers, squeezing gently. "The day after tomorrow," she said. "There are some things that will have to be taken care of. My TARDIS... I want her safe, away from those who would harm her." Her hand squeezed his again. "And I want to talk to you. I want you to tell me about your adventures... I want you to tell me what you've seen, what you've done. The good stories... with all the details that only we would understand. And then, the Dancer will say goodbye, and River will have her beautiful Simon. Then, finally, I can love him the way he deserves."

He covered their hands with his free one, and looked at her, and nodded. His eyes were bright but he nodded. "We can do all of that. And I think I know just the place for your TARDIS." His voice cracked, just a little bit, on the last few words.

River smiled, her eyes as bright as his were. "Please... tell me?"

"Donna's grandfather. Wonderful man, brilliant, named Wilf. He has a hill where he likes to stargaze. I think it could use a little something, and if we keep her as that adorable little yellow shed..." He had to stop a moment. He took a breath, then continued, "He'd take very good care of her as she went to sleep. And I'll take Chip and the pixies. If we can get Chip away from Kaylee."

River laughed, wiping at her eyes, unashamed of her tears. "I think that sounds perfect. I just don't want her to be entirely alone... I need to know that she's safe. That someone will love her." She had to pause too and smiled after a few moments. "I think Chip would like it with you. Although I'm not sure how much luck you'll have getting Chip away from Kaylee. She seems quite smitten with him."

"Mal would have a nervous breakdown if he stayed, though." The Doctor looked thoughtful. "I think before I leave I really ought to have a look at that engine. See if I can't make it purr like a kitten for Kaylee."

"If you did it with her, and let her talk to you while you do it, I bet she'd be glad for the help," River said. She went quiet again, for a few moments. "She was so good to me," she said softly. "Even when I scared her."

"That shouldn't happen anymore," said the Doctor. "The scaring her, I mean. I think she'll always be good to you." He bumped his shoulder against River's. "She's a romantic."

River smiled, bumping her shoulder against the Doctor's. "I'll have to talk to Simon," she said. "He doesn't know I'm talking to you about this."

"Does he think that you'll go back to your lives from before?"

"I don't know," River said. "We haven't had much time to talk about it. I think he's afraid. He doesn't want me to get hurt again. He won't ask."

"I'm certain I can fix the Chameleon Arch," said the Doctor. "You should talk to Simon."

"I had to talk to you first," she said. And she leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome," he said. "Go to him. I won't be far."

One more squeeze of his hand, and River got up, moving gracefully, no matter how simple the action or gesture. She waved at the Doctor, then ran off to find Simon, hair streaming behind her.

The Doctor watched her go, then closed his eyes. And, wordlessly, held out his hand.

He knew Donna was there.

She sat down next to him and took his hand, holding it firmly.

"Wilf won't mind, will he?" he asked. "If we put her TARDIS on his hill?"

"He won't mind at all," Donna said. "He'll take good care of it for her. There'll be flowers planted around it and everything, and in a year, it'll look like it's always been there."

"Good." The Doctor's eyes were still closed. He leaned against Donna, then rested his head on her shoulder. "Simon told me the pixies steal shoes," he said.

"Well, they'll learn very quickly not to do that to me," Donna said.

He laughed softly. "Now that will be something to see."

"You just want to see me yelling at pixies like a madwoman. That's what this is all about, isn't it?"

*

She didn't bother to go and check their rooms on Serenity. Even if she weren't a Time Lady, she knew where Simon would be. She ran inside her TARDIS, paused for a moment, then walked instead of running.

No running in the library.

Simon had taken off his shoes, but they hadn't gone missing yet. Maybe the pixies were angry with him and didn't want to play. He didn't hear River coming, but he knew that she was there, and he looked up from his book. "Hi."

"Hello," she said, coming to stand next to him. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

"Of course not." He looked up at her, smiling. Actually, one could even say that was an adoring sort of gaze.

She smiled at him and reached for his hand. "I missed it here. I missed the library."

"I did, too. The pixies don't seem to be here, though." He gestured to his shoes.

"They're around... they're just taking their time," she said. "Or they could be annoyed that Chip isn't here, since Kaylee's still showing him off," she added. She gave his hand another squeeze, then turned to face him a bit more. "I haven't said thank you yet. For everything you did for me."

He squeezed her hand back. "I love you," he said. "I'd do it again."

It was as good of an opening as she was going to get. "Simon, I want to try again," she said. "It won't be the same as what happened this time," she added, speaking quickly so he couldn't cut her off. "The Doctor... he can fix it so that it works properly--I know he can. He's agreed to do it. The war is over, I know, but that wasn't the real reason why I wanted to do this. That hasn't changed. You went through so much, and none of it was fair, but I swear to you that this time will be different, if you'll just--"

"I love you," he repeated. "I know that the last time--when you tried before--it wasn't your fault."

"Well, I didn't figure on us getting attacked, no," she admitted. "And even if it hadn't, I wasn't the most capable person to be making the adjustments, but we didn't really have a choice." She kept her grip on Simon's hand. "I want this so badly," she said, voice very soft. "For both of us. We both deserve this."

"Yes, we do," Simon said. "It's what I want. You are what I want." He lifted her hand to his mouth.

She watched Simon kiss her hand, then slid in closer and rested her head on his shoulder. "The day after tomorrow," she murmured. "That'll give us enough time to do what we need to do... say goodbye. I'll miss her... I know you will too. Are you sure you can give all of this up? The library?"

He pointed at a box. "I've grabbed my favourites and at this point I might need Jayne to carry that for me." He wrapped his arm around her and rested his cheek against her hair. "I'm going to miss this. I will. But you're more important to me than anything else. And I would stay with you no matter what you chose to do."

She smiled at the box of books, then shifted a little so she could look at Simon again. "There are times where I'm not entirely sure I deserve you, Simon," she said, looking right in his eyes. "I'm hoping that starting the day after tomorrow, I'll be able to truly make that up to you."

*

The Dancer had her day. Once she and Simon had worked everything out, things got very busy, very quickly. There were things in the TARDIS that she and Simon would want and need... things from the time they'd spent travelling together. Things from her life before that. She kept very little for herself, sharing her treasures with the crew of Serenity, and with the Doctor and Donna.

The Doctor gathered the pixies himself. Somehow, she knew they'd be happy living with him. Chip too, once Kaylee accepted that Mal was never going to let him stay aboard Serenity and let the Doctor and Donna take him with them.

She spent some time with the entire crew. She remembered her time as Simon's little sister River, but most of it felt like a dream. Something she knew she'd seen, experienced, lived, but it was something that still didn't feel truly real.

She visited Kaylee in the engine room; had her laughing and smiling--for real--before she left.

She brought the Shepherd an undamaged copy of the Bible that she'd found in her library, bowed her head to accept the blessing he gave her, and closed her eyes and listened as he prayed.

She visited with Zoe and Wash on the bridge, and told Wash about the time she'd gone back and actually seen dinosaurs--for real. He was less interested in trying to talk her into going to see them one more time after she told him how much they smelled, up close and in person.

With Inara, it was tea, naturally. The Dancer even let Inara brush and braid her hair up into a crown, and they gossiped and giggled over everyone and every thing. She never told anyone, even Simon, what they talked about in the hour they spent together.

She did not brush or braid Jayne's hair, and they didn't drink tea. They also never told anyone about the conversation they had while River was still the Dancer. And if some of Kaylee's engine wine seemed to be missing afterward, no one said a word about it.

The Dancer had so much she wanted to say to Mal... so many things to talk about, so much to explain, so much to ask. And yet, when she found him up on the bridge later, she just looked at him for awhile, took his hand, and said thank you. And then she asked him to teach her to fly the ship. It took him awhile, but once he got into the lesson, he relaxed in a way that he only did when he was flying Serenity. She loved seeing him like that.

She didn't really know Donna, but she already loved her. She loved the way she teased the Doctor; the way that she took absolutely no shit from him. She wasn't afraid of him, in awe of him, or in love with him. She cared about him. She liked him. And she did love him. She wondered if the Doctor knew how badly he'd been lacking someone to give him those things. She hoped that he'd have his Donna for a long, long time. She was glad, secretly, that she couldn't go to the future and find out the truth. She didn't want to know.

When the time came for the Doctor and the Dancer to have their talk, she took his hand and led him inside her TARDIS. Together, they wandered her halls, hand in hand, sharing stories and memories, tragedies and triumphs. The Doctor and the Dancer. The last of the Time Lords.

The Dancer felt the pulse of the TARDIS as they talked, heard her singing. Her TARDIS knew. She was sad, but she wouldn't be alone this time... wouldn't be held by profane hands. She would sleep, and she would dream, and she would remember everything, long after River and Simon were no more.

It was late, impossibly late, when the Dancer and the Doctor stopped talking, later still when they went looking for Simon and Donna. The Dancer wanted to spend one last night in her TARDIS with Simon. She wanted to be able to remember the smell of her library whenever she closed her eyes. One last night, to make sure that he had no regrets.

She'd never been more sure of what she wanted.

*

The hill was perfect, and Wilf was lovely. Some people might have said that lovely wasn't the right word for an old man, but the Dancer wasn't some people. She knew that he'd take good care of her TARDIS... that she'd be safe here. Loved.

She'd asked for a moment alone, just to say goodbye. Everyone waited outside, talked to Wilf, tried to ignore Donna's mother (which admittedly, wasn't easy). The Dancer was barefoot, steps silent as she walked up to the controls, fingers sliding over the consoles.

"I will miss you," she said, very softly. "Don't ever think I won't. I know, better than almost anyone, what I'm giving up." She rested her hand against a wall, then leaned in closer, cheek against a column. "This is worth it. The risk is worth it, it's all worth it. He's worth it." She opened her eyes and lifted her head. "You understand, don't you?"

There was silence for a few moments, and then the song began again. The Dancer smiled, tears shining in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. She brushed a kiss against the column, rested her cheek against it a moment, then wiped her eyes, and walked toward the door. She was ready.

*

It hurt.

She'd forgotten how much it hurt... or maybe she'd thought it was because she'd done something wrong. But it hurt, so, so badly. She could hear them, distantly. She could hear Kaylee protesting, hear the Doctor insisting that this was exactly what was supposed to be happening and not to touch anything because the last thing they wanted was to have to start all over again, or to hurt her worse by interrupting the process. She could feel the tension in the room, hear Mal's loud, pacing boot steps over her own screams of pain.

She could taste the fear in the room, most of it coming from Simon. She could hear the quiet murmur of the Shepherd as he prayed.

And then everything went black, and she couldn't sense anything any more.

*

When she came to, she was lying on the floor of her TARDIS, the Doctor beside her, Simon's fingers pressed against her wrist, checking her pulse. She tried to sit up, and was coaxed back down again without protest. Her head was still spinning.

And it was quiet. So quiet. The only thoughts in her mind were her own. She started to smile, then lifted her hand, placing it against one side of her chest, then the other.

One heartbeat. One heart.

River's smile got wider, and she looked at the Doctor, hoping that he could see how grateful she was. Then Simon moved back into her line of sight again, and she forgot to say it out loud. She forgot about anyone, anything except him. She reached out and took Simon's hand, squeezing it tightly, bringing his hand up to rest against her chest, over her single heartbeat.

"I love you," River whispered.

And for the first time in her very, very long life, it was true.

*

The Doctor put his hand on Book's elbow; a light warning as he slipped around him to put his cup down, then moved past one more time. They weren't many, but the mess suddenly felt quite loud. Possibly crowded. He sat in one of the chairs in the corner and leaned back, long legs stretched out in front of him. There was a little smile on his face as he tilted his head back, but kept on watching. Continued to listen.

No matter what form she was in, River still walked nearly silently. "Hey," she murmured, settling in next to him, reaching down to touch his arm.

He looked at her, still smiling. "Hello."

Most people would ask if he was all right. River didn't. She didn't need to. She knew the answer; the the lie he'd tell... and the truth behind it all. He wasn't okay. Part of him would never be okay. But he'd be all right. "I have something for you. A present. Come with me?"

"A present for me? Whenever did you have time to go shopping?" he asked, gently teasing.

"Silly Doctor," she said, offering him her hand. "Come along."

He took her hand and got to his feet. "Lead on."

No one stopped them. There was food, and drink--they'd seen to that, stocking up on Earth before their return from dropping off River's TARDIS--and everyone was smiling. Even Mal. River weaved around everyone and led the Doctor down to the cargo bay, all the way to his TARDIS.

"I've been here before," the Doctor said with a little grin.

"It felt appropriate," River said, smiling too. And she reached into her pocket, then held her hand out to the Doctor.

He offered her his hand in return, then looked more than a little surprised when she gave him the fob watch. "You don't want to hold on to this?"

She shook her head. "No. I want you to keep it. I know you'll keep it safe. You'll protect it for me."

"Of course I will," he said. He curled his fingers around the watch. "I promise."

"Thank you," River said, smiling at him, then impulsively going in for a hug. "Thank you so much," she whispered.

The hug got one of his big smiles. He hugged her back. "You're welcome. It's been my absolute pleasure."

She smiled, and hugged him a little tighter. "You promise you won't forget me?"

"How could I, if I haven't after all these years?"

"I suppose that's true," she said, finally pulling back. "Clever Doctor. I just want someone to remember me. All the things that I was, once upon a time."

He was the only one who could, really. "And you're sure you won't want this back?" he asked.

River shook her head, reached down and closed her hand over the Doctor's so he was holding the watch more tightly, then removed her hand and smiled at him again. "No. I won't."

"He'd best be good to you," the Doctor said, his voice a bit tight. "You make sure that young man is good to you."

This time, River's smile was like the sun coming out. "He will be," she promised. "He loves me." Her eyes met the Doctor's. "And I love him." It was the first time she'd been able to say it and feel it the way she really wanted to. It was worth it. He was worth it. Worth living a mortal lifespan for. Worth everything.

*

Rory nudged Amy. "He's doing it again."

She lifted her head and looked over. "Ooh, you're right," she said, standing up and going over to the Doctor. "So... what've you got there?" she asked, peering over the Doctor's shoulder.

He started. It wasn't often that either of them caught the Doctor off-guard like that, and Rory was up in an instant so he could go to stand on the Doctor's other side.

"It's a watch," Rory said, before the Doctor could get around to responding.

The Doctor looked between the two of them. "You're both very nosy," he accused.

"Mmm... that's a very obvious statement, don't you think?" Amy said, trying to get a better look. "It's quite nice, actually. I'm not sure it's your style, but then, it never stopped you from bow ties."

"The bow ties are most definitely my style," said the Doctor. He looked down at the watch in his hand.

Rory leaned in to get a better look. "It's rather... I don't want to say 'girly', but..."

"You just said girly," said the Doctor, and he slipped the watch into his pocket.

"Well, it is a bit--or I think it was," Amy said, sliding around the Doctor and trying to pick his pocket. She wanted a better look.

He swatted at her hand. "Never mind."

"Oh, come on," Amy said, in her very best 'please, Doctor, I'll be ever so adorable, and it'll make you want to get me a pony' voice. "Let's have a look, then."

"That's really not necessary."

"But maybe it is," said Rory.

"It's not."

"You were looking at it," Amy said, eternally stubborn. "But you weren't checking the time--you didn't open it. You just looked at it, and you've done it before."

"Very, very nosy," said the Doctor. He looked between them and knew they'd set their minds to this one. He shook his head. "All right, children. Gather 'round." Which they already were. Fair enough. He put his hand in his pocket, curled his fingers around the watch, and then gave Amy and Rory a little smile. "Let me tell you a story. It's about the Dancer."